The Package (Seinfeld) - Memorable Quotes

Memorable Quotes

  • Elaine: I was looking at my chart , and it said that I was difficult. Why would they write that?
    Jerry: They've gotten to know you.

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  • Kramer: George, it's the timeless art of seduction. You gotta join in the dance. She sends you an enticing photo, you send her one right back.
    George: Well, I don't know.
    Kramer: Well, as you know, I've always been something of a photog.
    Jerry: Oh, yeah, I like this idea.

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  • Kramer: (...) Feel the beat. Feel the beat. You know you got some real strong pecs but it's hard to tell under that T-shirt.
    George: Well do you want me to take it off?
    Kramer: I don't know it's up to you.
    George: Do you think it would be better if I did?
    Kramer: It might be. I mean whatever you want.
    George: All right!
    Kramer: That's it George. Come on, come on. Give it to me. Come on, work it. Work it. Yeah be a man, be a man. You are a lover boy!

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  • Uncle Leo: I got your package.
    Jerry: How did you get my package?
    George: Leo's got your package?
    Uncle Leo: What should I do with it?
    Jerry: I don't know what you should do with it.
    George: Tell him to open it.
    Jerry: I'm not gonna treat my uncle like a bomb-defusing robot!
    Uncle Leo: Jerry! Your cousin Jeffrey is in a Parks Department production of The Mikado. I want you to come see it with me!
    Jerry: Open the package, Leo.

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  • Jerry: So, we're going to make the post office pay for my new stereo now?
    Kramer: It's a write-off for them.
    Jerry: How is it a write-off?
    Kramer: They just write it off.
    Jerry: Write it off what?
    Kramer: Jerry, all these big companies, they write off everything.
    Jerry: You don't even know what a write-off is.
    Kramer: Do you?
    Jerry: No, I don't!
    Kramer: But they do. And they're the ones writing it off.
    Jerry: I wish I had the last twenty seconds of my life back.

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  • Doctor: Leo, I don't care for your demeanor.

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  • Kramer: It's "Bennett", right?
    Elaine: It's "Benes", you jackass! My last name is Benes!
    Kramer:
    Elaine: ...Yeah!

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