Content
"Online" is a moderate up-tempo song whose lyrics satirize the online world, specifically MySpace. Here, the song's protagonist is a geek who lives at home with his parents, holds a job at the local pizzeria, and claims limited success in the dating world. Actually "five-foot-three and overweight", a fan of science fiction, and a mild asthmatic, the main character has an account on MySpace. There, he assumes a much more desirable personality: "Online, I'm out in Hollywood / I'm six-foot-five and I look damn good / I drive a Mazerati / I'm a black-belt in karate / And I love a good glass of wine". Later in the song, he claims to live in Malibu, California, have a sexy, finely sculptured body, and pose for Calvin Klein Inc. and GQ. The fictitious alternate personalities make the geek claim that he is "so much cooler online". The album version of the song ends with a marching band playing the melody of the chorus, a reference to an earlier line where the protagonist claims to play tuba in a marching band.
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