In Our Lifetime (Marvin Gaye Album) - Conception

Conception

In 1979, Marvin Gaye found himself at a professional and personal low ebb. Two years without a hit since "Got to Give It Up", he had released the commercially dismal Here, My Dear, which then alienated critics and fans alike for the musician's take on his personal life including his troubling marriage to Anna Gordy, which had ended in divorce a couple years before. Gaye married his longtime girlfriend Janis Hunter in October of 1977 but within two years, Hunter filed for legal separation, later alleging Gaye had been mentally and physically abusing her during their marriage. Hunter had been the inspiration behind Gaye's 1976 album, I Want You. That year, Gaye decided to reestablish his pop audience, first releasing a slightly autobiographical disco song he titled "Ego Tripping Out", in which he lyrically explained his larger-than-life ego and masked it with personal doubt ("turn the fear into energy/'cause the toot and the smoke won't fulfill the need"). Gaye debuted the song while appearing on Dinah Shore's Dinah & Friends, with the performance later being featured on the DVD, Marvin Gaye - The Real Thing: In Performance 1964-1981.

The song was supposed to be the leading track off Gaye's next album, a disco-styled album he titled Love Man, with tracks he had recorded at his recording studio complex. However, the album was put on hold as Gaye, now facing a $4.5 million debt with the IRS, went out on a half-hearted world tour to alleviate his debts. Gaye's heart, however, wasn't in the tour, and midway through after a mildly receptive show in Japan and performances in Hawaii, he abandoned the tour, which led to musicians in his band as well as concert promoters suing Gaye for thousands of dollars on reneging on the contract. For weeks, Gaye secluded himself in a bread van while still struggling from his now-crippling cocaine addiction. However, desperate for a fix, he called his mother and asked her to give away earrings he had bought her in exchange for money to buy cocaine. He had also went so far to ask friends such as Smokey Robinson and Stevie Wonder for money, but they refused. Around this time, Gaye's lawyer advised him to file for voluntary bankruptcy, later resulting in the shutdown of his recording studio, which further depressed Gaye.

A dismal reunion with Hunter around this time led Gaye, high on cocaine, to point a knife to Hunter's chest, only for Hunter to take the knife away from him and leave again. Around this time, Gaye tried finishing his Love Man album but instead of presenting the album with upbeat lyrics, some of the songs dealt with his own life. In the song, "Dance 'N Be Happy", for example, while the chorus repeated "let's dance and be happy", the lyrics, which Marvin sung off the top of his head in falsetto, revealed his anguish at the fallout of his marriage to Hunter, even accusing her of making him "uptight". After hearing a mix in Honolulu, a disillusioned Gaye shelved the album, fearing his music career was over. One day, severely depressed, Gaye ingested a full ounce of cocaine, in his first suicide attempt since the late 1960s, thinking he would die. He later told David Ritz, "I'd given up. The problems were too big for me. I just wanted to be left alone and blow my brains on high-octane toot. It would be a slow but relatively pleasant death, certainly less messy than a gun." During this time, British concert promoter Freddy Krueger got contact with Gaye through drug dealers. Krueger, with help from Gaye's friend Jewel Price, convinced Gaye to sober up and start a European tour, Gaye's first since 1976. The tour, which took place in 1980, featured performances in Germany, Austria, France, Italy, Switzerland and England. The tour ended on a bad note after Gaye failed to show up on time for a command performance for Princess Margaret, leaving Krueger to sue him for breach of contract; eventually Gaye and Krueger settled their dispute without having to go to trial.

Gaye, now scared of a possible arrest warrant for avoiding the IRS, decided to settle in London where he partook on the city's nightlife and suffered a relapse. By now, Gaye had learned of freebasing while living in London and would spend weeks getting high. Gaye also began to reevaluate the Love Man album stating "I had to do something for money, but I also had an obligation - to the truth. Motown wasn't giving me a cent 'cause they were yelling how they'd spent a fortune on the Love Man cover and here I was holed up in Hawaii telling them the love man was dead. He was. The love man was me and I needed to stop that shit." Gaye rethought the album's concept and said he "saw how silly I'd been. Who needed another record moanin' and bitchin' 'bout some woman? Why did I have to regain my throne as the sex king? Who cared about competing with Michael Jackson and Prince? Look what was happening with the world. I had a message to spread. I had my theme."