Harry Oliver - Some Quotes From Oliver

Some Quotes From Oliver

• It is a narrow minded person who thinks there is only one way to spell a word.
• I never did learn how to spell, – but I did learn the typesetter's rule, – "Set up type as long as you can hold your breath without turning blue in the face, then put in a comma. When you gape, put in a semicolon, and when you want to sneeze, that's the time to make a paragraph."
• Nobody ever drowned himself in sweat.
• I don't blame our Indians for being discouraged. They are the only ones to be conquered by the United States and not come out ahead.
• On the old road from the desert to San Diego there is a very dangerous precipice. An old timer told me they had a warning sign up for two years, but no one fell over so they took it down.
• A miner here tied a stick of dynamite around his neck and lit the fuse. Relatives and friends say they can't imagine why he did this. Of course this is only a theory, but he may have been tired of living.
• Way to stop wars is to quit lending money to other nations. That's how I got Dry Camp Blackie to stop drinking.
• ...I am one-fourth Indian. Yes, I am now one-quarter Cherokee Indian, I used to be one-eighth Cherokee, one-eighth Scotch, one-eighth Irish, one-eighth Dutch, and one-half English—Here is how I made the change—I gave all my English blood to the blood bank. I told that blonde nurse to cut it off as soon as any Irish or Indian blood showed up, and she did, I am sure. Losing the English blood has helped my sense of humor...