"Christian Rock Hard" is the ninth episode of the seventh season of the American animated series South Park. It originally aired on Comedy Central in the United States on October 23, 2003. In the episode, the kids start a rock band, but concerned with the fact that people will potentially download their music from the Internet illegally, they refuse to play. Meanwhile, Cartman starts his own Christian rock band. The episode satirizes famous artists who have spoken out against copyright infringement, such as Metallica. Christian rock music is also parodied as being identical to love songs, except for referencing Jesus in their lyrics.
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“The North is full of tangled things and texts and aching eyes
And dead is all the innocence of anger and surprise,
And Christian killeth Christian in a narrow dusty room,
And Christian dreadeth Christ that hath a newer face of doom,
And Christian hateth Mary that God kissed in Galilee,”
—Gilbert Keith Chesterton (18741936)
“My spirit looks to God alone,
My rock and refuge is His throne,
In all my fears, in all my straits,
My soul on His salvation waits.”
—Isaac Watts (16741748)
“Competition is. In every business, no matter how small or how large, someone is just around the corner forever trying to steal your ideas and build his success out of your imagination, struggling after that which you have toiled endless years to secure, striving to outdo you in each and every way. If such a competitor would work as hard to originate as he does to copy, he would much more quickly gain success.”
—Alice Foote MacDougall (18671945)