Book of The Civilized Man - Three Themes

Three Themes

There are three major recurrent themes in the poem: social hierarchy, self-control and sexual morality.

The first theme is the emphasis on social hierarchy and how to behave around those of higher or lower status (lords and servants). The poem takes the general tone of addressing the reader as someone who is a "householder". This can be seen in the opening lines of the poem "Reader, if you wish to be adorned with good manners, if you wish to be respected and lead a civilized life as a noble householder...". In other words, it addresses a very minor upper percentage of the general population who own households and have servants, the class that from the 16th century might be identified as "country gentry".

The second recurrent theme is self-control, in general holding oneself inward when it comes to speaking, eating and bodily emissions. When it comes to speaking, "Be careful to whom, what, why and when you speak". He suggests it is better to keep your thoughts to yourself. When it comes to eating, he suggests small bites, do not overeat, do not play with your food, don't use your fingers to clean bowls. When it comes to bodily emissions he suggests if you clean out your nose in your hand, do not show people what comes out. Also, guests and servants should not urinate in the dining hall, but the host may.

The third recurrent theme is sexual morality. The Civilized Man was clearly written for men. It offers advice on prostitutes: "If you are overcome with erotic desire when you are young and your penis drives you to go to a prostitute, do not go to a common whore; empty your testicles quickly and depart quickly." He offers advice on how to pick a wife, which includes looking at her property value and personal traits. Following a tradition inherited from antiquity, Daniel describes women as lustful and untrustworthy. The poem describes a woman lying in bed with her husband, with her thoughts on to her secret lover: "The lascivious woman throws herself around the neck of her lover, her fingers give him those secret touches that she denies to her husband in bed; one wicked act with her lover pleases the lascivious adulteress more than a hundred with her husband; women's minds always burn for the forbidden." He says she is always ready to fornicate "with a cook or a half-wit, a peasant or a ploughman, or a chaplain... what she longs for is a thick, leaping, robust piece of equipment, long, smooth and stiff... such are the things that charm and delight women". Daniel had a nearly pathological view of the promiscuity of women, but despite this he says "Whatever your wife does, do not damage your marriage" and he goes on to say "if you are jealous, do not whisper a word about it... when you are jealous, learn to look up at the ceiling." The message is clearly in the same theme of holding inward and avoiding any embarrassments at all cost.

Daniel's advice comes to a climax in what is perhaps the most difficult situation of all: the wife of one's lord makes a sexual proposition. It is a combination of the three problems: hierarchical relationships, control of bodily emissions, and sexual morality. Daniel's solution? Pretend to be ill.