Famous quotes containing the words functional and/or titles:
“Well designed, fully functional infant. Provides someone to live for as well as another mouth to feed. Produces cooing, gurgling and other adorable sounds. May cause similar behavior in nearby adults. Cries when hungry, sleepy or just because. Hand Wash with warm water and mild soap, then pat dry with soft cloth and talc. Internal mechanisms are self-cleaning... Two Genders: Male. Female. Five Colors: White. Black. Yellow. Red. Camouflage.”
—Alfred Gingold, U.S. humorist. Items From Our Catalogue, “Baby,” Avon Books (1982)
“We have to be despised by somebody whom we regard as above us, or we are not happy; we have to have somebody to worship and envy, or we cannot be content. In America we manifest this in all the ancient and customary ways. In public we scoff at titles and hereditary privilege, but privately we hanker after them, and when we get a chance we buy them for cash and a daughter.”
—Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835–1910)