Wasted Talent - Plot

Plot

Lois desperately searches for one piano student who can beat her rival Alexis Radcliffe's student at the piano competition. Meanwhile, Peter drinks even more Pawtucket Patriot beers than usual in an attempt to find a hidden silver scroll and win a tour of the brewery. The next day, Joe finds the first silver scroll. Some time later, the last scroll is found, causing Peter to give up. Tom Tucker later admits he made up the story about the last scroll being found, and then puts a carnivorous earwig in his ear to make up for it. Peter decides to drink one more beer, which turns out to have the last silver scroll. But as Peter runs all the way home, he falls, clutches his kneecap and moans over and over again (this later happened when Peter gets removed in the brewery and became a running gag in the later seasons). The next day, Peter and Brian go to the brewery tour. Pawtucket Pat (Michael McKean) is seemingly killed on his front walkway, but the killer turns out to be Cheech Marin, hired to pull off a gag (Based on Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory). Since the brewery is not compliant with the Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990 and does not have wheelchair ramps, Joe is forced to leave the tour. After experiencing the "beer room", Peter and Brian split off from the group to try beer that never goes flat, in spite of Pat's warning that they have not worked out all the kinks. When Peter and Brian drink the beer, they begin floating upward towards a ceiling-mounted exhaust fan. To save themselves, they fart repeatedly until they reach the ground. When Pat finds Peter and Brian in the forbidden room, he curtly ejects them from the brewery.

Angry at Pawtucket Pat, Peter tries to get Lois's attention by playing the piano, showing that he can play piano perfectly when drunk. Lois decides to enter Peter as her student in the piano competition, and keeps him in a state of constant inebriation. Peter's piano repertoire is TV show theme songs. At the competition, Peter is so drunk that he cannot even find the piano. Lois has to turn him around to face the piano, then move him over a couple of inches to play in the correct key. Peter and Lois win first place, but Lois frets that she may have harmed his health for her own selfish need to win. Peter defensively tells her all of his brain cells are intact. There is one left, and it realizes that it is the only cell in the brain. He can finally read all of his books; he then bends down and breaks his glasses, exclaiming "That's not fair! It's not fair! There was time now!". This is a reference to The Twilight Zone episode "Time Enough at Last".