Vampires
Nosferatu Sanguineus
On the Disc, all the world's vampire legends are true, even the contradictory ones. They just aren't all true for the same vampire.
The "default" Discworld vampire is generally consistent with the Dracula image. Their homeland is Überwald, a land that does not so much resemble Eastern Europe as the Universal and Hammer Horror movie stereotypes of the region. When you live for centuries and instinctively see humans as prey, it's very easy to decide that this means you're destined to rule by force. Überwald is filled with vampire aristocrats.
One odd element of this vampiric attraction to nobility is their names, which often run for several pages. Over the course of their long lives, vampires acquire titles in much the same way as a philatelist acquires stamps. Collecting titles is both a means to pass the time and a subtle reminder to hoi polloi of whom to respect.
The more intelligent vampire nobles know better than to oppress the local peasants too much, realising that there's no sense in driving them to become a torch-bearing mob. Others are too arrogant to worry, or see the whole business of feeding on humans as a very complicated, relatively stylized hunting sport. These vampires (most notably the old Count Magpyr, who returned from the dead so often his coffin had a revolving lid) "play by the rules" and give their quarry ample opportunity to defend themselves. Realizing that even death is rarely permanent for a vampire, these traditionalists like to give their prey a sporting chance and so keep their castles stocked with large collections of holy water, garlands of garlic, wooden stakes (complete with anatomical diagrams detailing the position of the heart in order to reduce the likelihood of their being left looking like a pincushion), metal decorations easily bent into holy symbols, and very clean windows covered by easily pulled-aside drapes. Vampires only really become dangerous when they start breaking the rules, as demonstrated by the younger Count Magpyr, who developed immunity to the traditional weaknesses by lengthy conditioning of himself and his family.
The craving for human blood appears to be more an addiction like alcoholism than a strict dietary requirement. Vampires are reported to have some need for extra "haemo-goblins" and must consume blood to survive, but this blood need not be fresh, or even human. The addiction to fresh, human blood is one which a growing number of vampires are beating, with help from support groups like the Überwald League of Temperance (the "Black Ribboners"). They refer to this change in diet as "going cold bat" (cf. cold turkey). Many get jobs at butcher shops or slaughterhouses in order to obtain their sustenance without harming human beings. In giving up human blood, most vampires sublimate their desire into a secondary, more socially acceptable addiction such as coffee, photography (which on the Discworld utilizes salamanders that store and release sunlight), or even politics. Due to their wish for vampires to become accepted as just another minority group in Ankh-Morpork, resident "Black Ribboners" deal with rogue vampires who attempt to prey on other Ankh-Morpork citizens with extreme prejudice.
Vampires denied the opportunity to satisfy their secondary addiction may begin suffering from severe withdrawal symptoms, including contagious hallucinations such as with delirium tremens. Vampires in this state will eventually become unable to control their natural addiction to blood.
Discworld vampires can survive in sunlight, provided they wear heavy clothes and broad-brimmed hats. As before, some vampires believe conditioning would reduce their vulnerability to the sun. When exposed to any strong light source (such as a camera flash) they will be immediately reduced to ashes, but require merely a drop of blood to recorporate. Many Black Ribboners carry "the kit", a dustpan, brush, small phial of animal blood and explanatory card ("Help, I have crumbled and I can't get up. Please sweep me into a heap and crush vial.I am a Black Ribboner and will not harm you") asking bystanders for assistance in reviving them; Otto Chriek carries his own self-revival kit (an extra-fragile glass phial of blood that breaks upon impact) for automatic recorporation, since his salamander-powered camera flashes have a tendency to turn him to ashes despite the variety of protective filters he experiments with.
Vampires can create new vampires with their bite, but generally prefer not to. Given the existence of vampire couples with vampire children, they seem able to reproduce sexually. Ankh-Morpork resident Arthur Winkins became a vampire as part of an inheritance that included an old castle in Überwald and the accompanying noble title. His wife Doreen Winkins refers to herself as a vampiress, or vampire by marriage, although she is not actually undead. However in Reaper Man, Doreen was not affected by the hypnotic music playing throughout the city (which turned normal people into mindless walking units) - a characteristic shared by the other undead she was with.
Coolness, poise and self-assurance come easily to natural born vampires. A female vampire will look fabulous even in a modestly priced dress. Members of the Überwald League of Temperance seek to renounce vampiric stylishness in all its forms, ditching sleek black cloaks for ratty jumpers and mournful violin playing for building models out of matchsticks.
Vampires have the ability to levitate and change into bats or other animals, although "beetotallers" find using these talents more difficult. It is easier to transform into many bats, thereby maintaining the same body mass. However, the vampire must then control all the bat bodies with a single mind and female Vampires must keep a few carrying clothes unless they wish to arrive naked (there are also complications that come up if a bat happens to get lost from the group).
This is because although male vampires can recorporate their clothes after an ashing or a transformation, female vampires find this more difficult. The reason for this is unclear, though many speculate it is to do with the "underwired nightdress thing". In other words, according to narrative convention (the all-powerful force on the Disc), female vampires must always be sexy.
A recent trend among rebellious younger vampires involves dressing in bright clothes, taking less menacing names, drinking wine (or more commonly drinking blood from wine bottles), complimenting each other on their (fake) rosy complexions and staying up until nearly noon in a parody of teenage goth culture.
Noted vampires in the books include: Arthur and Doreen Winkins (the Count and Countess Notfaroutoe), the Dragon King of Arms, the Magpyr family, Lady Margolotta, Otto Chriek, Mr Morcombe, lawyer to the Ramkin family (though some in the League suspect he may merely be a man who has stubbornly managed to live for 400 years), Maladict(a) and Salacia "Sally" von Humpeding, the first vampire City Watch constable. A Mr. Bleakley is also referred to in several books as a prospective vampire Watch officer. In Feet of Clay, there is a running joke of one particularly unlucky vampire complaining to the City Watch about his various jobs – jobs which happen to subject him to the myriad perils of vampirism: a pencil factory and a fencing firm (wooden stakes), a sunglasses tester (sunlight), a garlic stacker, and a holy water bottler.
Read more about this topic: Undead (Discworld)