The Seinfeld Chronicles - Plot

Plot

The series opens with Jerry Seinfeld and George Costanza seated at Pete's Luncheonette, debating the placement of one of George's shirt buttons. The waitress, Claire, pours each of them a cup of coffee. George frets about whether Claire is giving him regular or decaffeinated coffee, saying he does not want caffeine in it. Claire later, to annoy him, implies that she gave him regular. Jerry then tells George about a woman he met in East Lansing, Michigan, Laura, who is coming to New York. Jerry wonders if she has romantic intentions. The two continue to talk about her after they leave the luncheonette and go to the laundry.

The next evening, Jerry tells his neighbor Kessler (as the character is known at the time) that he thinks he misunderstood the situation with Laura. Jerry then receives a telephone call from Laura, who asks if she can stay overnight at his apartment. Jerry invites her, but is still unsure whether or not her visit is intended to be romantic. George and Jerry continue to debate the issue, with Jerry determined to find the true nature of her visit.

At the airport, George and Jerry continue to try to identify the possible signals Laura might give upon her arrival, with George explaining the meaning of various greetings. However, when Laura arrives, her greeting is ambiguous.

GEORGE: All right, if she puts the bags down before she greets you, that's a good sign.
JERRY: Right.
GEORGE: You know, anything in the, in the lip area is good.
JERRY: Lip area.
GEORGE: You know, a hug: definitely good.
JERRY: Hug is definitely good.
GEORGE: Sure.
JERRY: Although what if it's one of those hugs where the shoulders are touching, the hips are eight feet apart?
GEORGE: That's so brutal, I hate that.
JERRY: You know how they do that?
GEORGE: That's why, you know, a shake is bad.
JERRY: Shake is bad, but what if it's the two-hander? The hand on the bottom, the hand on the top, the warm look in the eyes?
GEORGE: Hand sandwich.
JERRY: Right.
GEORGE: I see, well, that's open to interpretation. Because so much depends on the layering and the quality of the wetness in the eyes.
(A woman approaches Jerry from behind and puts her hands over Jerry's eyes.)
LAURA: Guess who?

Jerry and Laura arrive at the apartment. Laura then removes her shoes and some excess clothing to get comfortable, and while in her stocking feet asks for wine, turns down the light and asks if she can stay over a second night. As Jerry begins to grow confident, the phone rings for Laura. When Laura gets off the phone she tells Jerry: "Never get engaged." Jerry then realizes that he has no chance with Laura, but has already committed himself – and his one-bedroom apartment – to an entire weekend with her, including a five hour sightseeing boat ride around Manhattan.