The Pinocchio Theory is a 1977 single by the American Funk band Bootsy's Rubber Band. It was released by Warner Bros. Records on February 9, 1977. The single first charted in Billboard magazine's Hot Soul Singles chart in March 1977 where it peaked at number six. "The Pinocchio Theory" inspired the George Clinton creation Sir Nose D'Voidoffunk (see P-Funk mythology: the song says if you fake the funk, your nose will grow, and Sir Nose fakes the funk). The b-side of the "The Pinocchio Theory" is "Rubber Duckie".
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“The things that will destroy America are prosperity-at-any- price, peace-at-any-price, safety-first instead of duty-first, the love of soft living, and the get-rich-quick theory of life.”
—Theodore Roosevelt (1858–1919)