Beard Hierarchy of The Editorial Staff At Spork Press
- Drew: a majestic multi-colored cascade, red up top, white at the bottom.
- Jake: semitic flow, a bushy mess.
- Jamison: a mountain mining-town kind of shrubbery (if we were giving points, Jamison's would list higher than Jake's as Jake's is never a product of intent).
- Richard: full and lush, worthy of his poetry.
- Andrew: unverified beyond the occasional three-day scruff.
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“I have been in the editorial business going on fourteen years, and it is the first time I ever heard of a man’s having to know anything in order to edit a newspaper.”
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“Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.”
—Bible: Hebrew Psalms, 23:4.
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—Charles, Jr. Feidelson, U.S. educator, critic. Symbolism and American Literature, ch. 1, University of Chicago Press (1953)