Soen Nakagawa - Hesitation

Hesitation

In 1950 Gempo Yamamoto roshi decided it was time for him to retire as abbot of Ryutaku-ji, and he wanted to appoint Soen as head abbot. Soen was hesitant and anxious about the proposition of becoming abbot. He fled the monastery briefly after assuming the position, leaving Gempo with no other choice but to resume the position temporarily. In 1951 Nakagawa returned and resumed his position as abbot at Ryutaku-ji. Soen was a non-traditional abbot, deciding to not distinguish himself from his students. He wore the robe of a monk, he bathed and ate in their quarters. Over the next few years Soen set out to visit other masters stating that, since he had only finished 500 koans of Hakuin's 1700 curriculum, he needed more training. He went to Hosshin-ji and studied under Harada Daiun Sogaku, lineage holder of both the Sōtō and Rinzai school.

In 1954 Soen meets a young monk named Tai Shimano (Eido Tai Shimano) at a funeral for Zen priest Daikyu Mineo. In the summer of that year, Tai Shimano ordains as a monk at Ryutaku-ji under Soen's tutelage. In 1955 Soen makes his second trip to the United States and Nyogen Senzaki comes to Ryutaku-ji to visit with Soen for 6 weeks. In 1957 Keigaku Katsube roshi passes away. In 1958 Nyogen Senzaki passes away. Soen was named as the executor of Senzaki's estate and returns to the U.S. to settle Senzakis' affairs. In 1959 and 1960 Soen travels to the U.s. twice, leading a sesshin in Honolulu, HI during the latter.

In 1961 Gempo Yamamoto roshi passes away. In 1962 Soen's mother passes away. Soen and his mother were extraordinarily close. She would visit Ryutaku-ji almost daily to go on excursions into the mountains to talk. They would sit together to have tea, or listen to classical music together. Her death, along with Gempo's death the year before, sent Soen into a depression. He frequented Dai Bosatsu Mountain many times following this for solitary retreat. In 1963 Nakagawa travels to the U.S.A., India, Israel, Egypt, England, Austria and Denmark with Charles Gooding, a former student of Nyogen Senzaki, teaching Zen with various sanghas.