Silent Football - Tattling

Tattling

In many forms of Silent Football, the commissioner cannot accuse anyone of an infraction; therefore it is left to the players to inform the commissioner when an error has been made. If a player notices any other player (including the commissioner) break one of the rules of Silent Football, that player may raise his hand to inform The Commissioner of the rule breaking. The commonly accepted procedure for tattling follows:

1. The first player raises his/her hand
2. Before tattling may begin, the hand must be obviously recognized by The Dictator. The Dictator may ignore a hand indefinitely.
3. The tattling must begin by formally addressing the Dictator.
4. The player then may tattle, minding the restrictions on speech.

In some circles a player who wishes to tattle, but is ignored by the Dictator, may break the rule of silence and exclaim "abuh" to attract the Dictator's attention. If the Dictator continues to ignore the player they may progress to "abuh awuh" followed by "abuh awuh aduh" and penultimately "abuh awuh a-motherfucking-duh." While the Dictator is still not required to call on the player, abuse of this system is punishable and each step up the chain should indicate a more severe infraction has taken place.