Stories
The following is an excerpt from the Segfault story "Man clicks Internet banner ad" :
- For the first time in recent memory, someone actually clicked an Internet banner ad. This refutes a previous experiment, in which one thousand monkeys were placed in a room for a year with one thousand Internet-connected computers. None of the monkeys clicked a banner ad (one did write a Shakespearean play, however). (See Infinite monkey theorem)
Another Segfault story, "Microsoft Supercomputer Discovers New Integer Between 5 and 6", reported the following:
- Scientists at Microsoft's new MS-NeatStuff (tm) lab announced today that they have discovered a previously unknown integer, sitting about 2/3 of the way between the integers 5 and 6. The integer, named MS-glef(tm) by its discoverer, is claimed to revolutionize all branches of mathematics.
- Mathematicians around the world are having a hard time accepting this new integer. "It's really kind of embarrassing for them, to think that there was another number right under their noses all along", countered Dr. Thelma Janssen, of Microsoft University. "It will seem weird to teach kids to count ...4...5...MS-glef (tm)...6..., but with our new MS-Math (tm) books and MS-Calculators (tm), I'm sure we'll get through it."
- The symbol for MS-glef (tm) looks something like a 'B' and 'G' combined with a '$', but cannot be printed yet until Microsoft licenses the new symbol to font packages throughout the world, scheduled for 4th quarter 2001.
Read more about this topic: Segfault (website)
Famous quotes containing the word stories:
“Television programming for children need not be saccharine or insipid in order to give to violence its proper balance in the scheme of things.... But as an endless diet for the sake of excitement and sensation in stories whose plots are vehicles for killing and torture and little more, it is not healthy for young children. Unfamiliar as yet with the full story of human response, they are being misled when they are offered perversion before they have fully learned what is sound.”
—Dorothy H. Cohen (20th century)
“Every one of my friends had a bad day somewhere in her history she wished she could forget but couldn’t. A very bad mother day changes you forever. Those were the hardest stories to tell. . . . “I could still see the red imprint of his little bum when I changed his diaper that night. I stared at my hand, as if they were alien parts of myself . . . as if they had betrayed me. From that day on, I never hit him again.””
—Mary Kay Blakely (20th century)
“I’m the only woman reporter they have, so I get all the meat boycott stories and all the meatless food stories.... Actually, I’ve only cooked three meals in my life. The most uncomfortable place for me in the whole world is in a kitchen.”
—Theresa Brown (b. 1957)