Reciprocity (social and Political Philosophy) - Mutuality

Mutuality

What is the relation between reciprocity and love, friendship or family relationships? If such relationships are ideally ones in which the parties are connected by mutual affection and benevolence, shouldn’t justice and reciprocity stay out of their way? Isn’t impartiality inconsistent with love? Doesn’t acting on principle take the affection out of friendship or family relationships? Doesn’t following the norm of reciprocity eliminate unconditional love or loyalty?

Some contemporary philosophers have criticized major figures in the history of Western philosophy, including John Rawls’ early work, for making familial relationships more or less opaque in theories of justice. (See the reference below to Okin.) The argument is that families can be grossly unjust, and have often been so. Since the family is “the school of justice,” if it is unjust the moral education of children is distorted, and the injustice tends to spread to the society at large, and to be perpetuated in following generations. If that is right, then justice and reciprocity must define the boundaries within which we pursue even the most intimate relationships.

A somewhat different thread on these matters begins with Aristotle’s discussion of friendship, in Nicomachean Ethics 1155-1172a. He proposes that the highest or best form of friendship involves a relationship between equals – one in which a genuinely reciprocal relationship is possible. This thread appears throughout the history of Western ethics in discussions of personal and social relationships of many sorts: between children and parents, spouses, humans and other animals, and humans and god(s). The question is the extent to which the kind of reciprocity possible in various relationships determines the kind of mutual affection and benevolence possible in those relationships.

This said, reciprocation in personal relationships rarely follows a mathematical formula and the level of reciprocation, i.e. the give and take, will vary depending on the personalities involved, and situational factors such as which party has more control, persuasive power or influence. It is often the case that one party will typically be the lead reciprocator with the other being the responsive reciprocator. The form of reciprocation can also be influenced by the level of emotional need. Sometimes one party will need more support than the other and this can switch at different times depending on the life situation of each party. Because reciprocation is influenced by personal circumstances and since people do not follow a set pattern like robots, reciprocation from a friend to a friend for example will vary in intensity and an absolutely consistent pattern cannot be expected. If for example a person has a large inner circle of friendships with reciprocation as the key element of friendship, then the level of reciprocation within the inner circle will influence the depth of a friendship therein. Reciprocation can be responsive or initiative. It is also a fundamental principle in parenting, a successful work place, religion and karma.

So for example, in the friendship context, reciprocation means to give or take mutually but not necessarily equally. Overall reciprocal balance is more important than strict equality at every moment. Friendship based on reciprocity means caring for each other, being responsive and supportive and in tune with each other. But without some form of overall reciprocal balance, the relationship may become transformed into a nonreciprocal form of friendship, or the friendship may fail altogether.