Open Marriage Relationship - Negative Outcomes

Negative Outcomes

Some couples report serious problems with open marriage. A number of these couples may even divorce as a consequence of open marriage.

Couples in open marriages expose themselves to the potential for conflicts caused by jealousy. Couples in open marriages appear to experience jealousy more frequently than people in sexually monogamous marriages. Studies have shown that 80 percent or more of couples in open marriages experience jealousy over their extramarital relationships. Jealousy with its roots in open marriage can lead to serious conflicts. For example, attempting to interfere with a rival relationship may make a partner angry. Insulting or berating a partner may provoke retaliatory responses. Demanding greater commitment may ignite arguments. Indeed, many studies have reported that conflict occurs during episodes of jealousy. The conflicts caused by jealousy can seem overwhelming and damage relationships.

Even when jealousy is not an overwhelming problem, open marriage may cause other complications. For example, a five year study of bisexuals observed a shift from open relationships to sexually monogamous relationships in many participants because they "felt that nonmonogamy was too time consuming, took too much energy, or was too complicated. They also thought that it got in the way of developing love, trust, and more intimate relationships with a partner." (Weinberg, Williams, & Pryor, 1995, page 262) Numerous authors have argued that open marriages disrupt relationships by interfering with intimacy and provoking insecurities.

Some couples report that open marriage contributed to their divorces. Janus and Janus asked divorced people to list the one primary reason for their divorces. Approximately 1 percent of men and 2 percent of women listed open marriage as the primary reason for their divorce. This seems like a small percentage. But keep in mind that only 1 to 6 percent of the population have open marriages. Open marriage is perceived as a primary cause of divorce in a substantial minority of the 1 to 6 percent of people who have open marriages.

The extent to which open marriage actually contributes to divorce remains uncertain. Blumstein and Schwartz note a slightly higher risk of divorce among couples who engage in extramarital sex, even if the couples agree to allow extramarital sex. However, Rubin and Adams did not observe any difference in the risk of divorce for couples in open marriages and couples in sexually monogamous marriages. Open marriage may contribute to divorce for some, but not all, couples.

Open marriage can thus have a negative impact on some couples. It can cause serious problems with jealousy, and it can interfere with intimacy and security between partners. Some people report that open marriage contributed to their divorces, though the extent to which open marriage actually causes divorce remains unclear.