Episodes
| # | Title | Directed by | Written by | Original air date | Production code |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | "Pilot" | Ted Wass | Tom Hertz | October 3, 2003 | 1AJF79 |
| Tom Wagner, a young, bright but somewhat lazy New York author who just tasted success with one bestselling book, gives in to his wife's homesick pleading: they move to her native Kansas, close to her parent's home. Soon the big city individualist finds his anonymous life is turned upside down as they spend more time at his in-laws' (her parents, siblings and others) and obligatory local community events then in their own home or alone, and the old-fashioned social pressure is quite alarming for a Big Apple-free spirit. | |||||
| 2 | "Barbecue" | Mark Cendrowski | David Richardson | October 10, 2003 | 1AJF01 |
| Tom hosts a barbecue in an attempt to fit in with the family but cannot assemble his new grill so he gets Susan to do it. In return Tom decides to make the dinner that the family is expecting Susan to prepare. | |||||
| 3 | "Lewis May Have a Girlfriend" | Philip Charles MacKenzie | Steve Holland | October 17, 2003 | 1AJF04 |
| Tom meets a girl in a clothing store and decides to set her up with his socially awkward brother-in-law Lewis. The date seems to go well until Lewis reveals to Tom that he already has a girlfriend. | |||||
| 4 | "Corrupting Chris" | Joe Regalbuto | Tom Hertz | October 24, 2003 | 1AJF03 |
| Susan is sick and tired of hearing her sister Mary's husband Chris is so perfect, in fact slavishly house-trained, while her unemployed Tom is very inventive in finding ways and reasons to get out of any chores. So Tom decides to get the inconvenient 'good example' Chris to become less helpful and spend some time drinking. It works like a charm, but to Tom's horror Mary finds Chris being in the dog house makes him sexy, so he stops helping out and the Kelly parents expect him to take over. | |||||
| 5 | "Tom Makes a Friend" | Shelley Jensen | Jason Gelles & Mike Haukom | October 31, 2003 | 1AJF06 |
| Tom finds an obnoxious customer in the deli is a fellow New Yorker married into Kansas, Bob Lydecker, and even Susan is actually delighted to have another city couple to double date with - till she meets them and thus finds out Bobs local wife is actually Trish Arnold, who was in high-school with her, and tore up Mary's school presidential campaign posters, leading to a fight for which Susan was suspended, her most heroic youth-deed. Still her attempt to lay a guilt-trip on him doesn't stop Tom from accepting Bobs invitation to go to his company's VIP-box in the sports stadium, but when the incident between their wives, about which Mary confesses something at home, gets mentioned. | |||||
| 6 | "Awkward Silence" | Andrew Tsao | Hayes Jackson | November 7, 2003 | 1AJF08 |
| Tom learns he's not the only one wrestling with the must-status of countless traditions. Everyone pretends to like Sandy's ham balls family recipe, but even Susan would eat anything at home to get rid of the taste. As always it's worse for Chris- Mary isn't content to drag him to the annual Lithuanian folk-dance, because of her rivalry with Bonnie McClintock she's determined to erase the memory of his one step wrong last year by winning flat out. Tom worries he has nothing to talk about with dad Bill, so he's eager to fill in for Chris at Bill's office's softball team; it's a big hit- on Bill's ankle! So Tom stays home with Bill while everyone else sees Lewis have a ball as MC while Mary drives Chris crazy, but is satisfied when Bonnie slips over a dried fish. Back home Tom discovers Bill only pretended to be badly hurt so he could avoid the Lithuanian drag. | |||||
| 7 | "The New Car" | Mark Cendrowski | Gigi McCreery & Perry Rein | November 14, 2003 | 1AJF07 |
| Susan assures Tom he shouldn't feel manipulated by her family just because every choice he makes seems to make them jump to conclusions, e.g. after he didn't eat a whole giant T-bone, mother Kelly makes chicken 'because Tom doesn't like steak'. When they decide to buy a new car, everyone has suggestions, but Susan tells Tom to make his own choice. Once they bring the car they both like home, everyone inspects it, except Lewis whose only question about any car is whether he fits in the trunk. However mother quickly jumps to an exceptionally serious conclusion: Tom bought a two-seater, so he doesn't want kids- the others and even Susan are inclined to believe her. | |||||
| 8 | "The Apartment" | Gail Mancuso | Gigi McCreery & Perry Rein | November 21, 2003 | 1AJF11 |
| When Lewis picks up Toms mail and opens some, it's obvious even to him Tom still has his New York apartment, but agrees not to tell; however when Lewis takes off to it just before Thanksgiving, the family soon finds out and get him back. Tom invites him over for a 'vacation' on his couch, but gets anxiety attacks after Susans whining about him needing psychological backup and not wanting to live in Kansas made him cancel his lease. Lewis tries to cheer him up by visiting 'awesome' Kansas spots such as the Worlds Largest Barn, but it only makes Lewis happy as he finally gets to cross the county border. However the Kelly's changing the traditional Thanksgiving to a celebration of New York's five boroughs does help Tom. | |||||
| 9 | "Susan's Secret" | Wil Shriner | Michelle Nader | November 28, 2003 | 1AJF02 |
| As each year, Mary makes Chris' official birthday presents list- and as Tom suspects, leaves out the best gifts for herself, so he ignores the list and gives a more original gift. At the party, Toms New York stories are a great success, but when he adds to the way he got his scar that Susan has a tattoo at the same spot, that proves to be one of Susan's best-kept secrets, especially shocking to her mother. The tempting idea of coming clean with the truth tricks several other Kelly's into confessions they are soon made to regret. | |||||
| 10 | "A Kelly Carol" | Gail Mancuso | Michelle Nader | December 12, 2003 | 1AJF12 |
| Christmas at the Kelly's is a communal series of traditions, so half-Jewish Tom can forget about anything of his own, even watching 'A Carol Christmas' on TV at home. The family is devoted, with a budget doubled since last year, to finally making the local top ten of Christmas-decorated homes, and since mother Sandy is down on the first Christmas after her ma's death, Mary takes charge in penal camp drill style of operation take over every single imaginable task, while Lewis concentrates on straying the stall figures in the wackiest places. When they're finally all off to mass, Tom sneaks on to 'Father Christmas's chair' to watch his movie, but finds this overloads the electricity, so even with Chris' expert help it's touchdown to repair it before the judges pass by; then he discovers Sandy's mother-daughter shopping tradition. | |||||
| 11 | "Tom Doesn't Get It" | Philip Charles MacKenzie | Reese Bryant | January 9, 2004 | 1AJF05 |
| Tom tells Susan that he is skipping dinner with her family so that he can concentrate on writing his book but she soon finds him out having beers and watching a game with the utility man instead. Tom thinks he knows the real reason Susan is upset but in reality he doesn't get it. | |||||
| 12 | "Whose Pants Are Smarter?" | Gail Mancuso | Tasha Goldstone | January 23, 2004 | 1AJF10 |
| The rivalry between Tom and Mary heats up when he shows her up at her own award presentation and is invited to be a guest speaker at her university. Meanwhile, Lewis decides that it is time for a name change so he asks everyone to start calling him Lew. | |||||
| 13 | "The Contractor" | Andrew Tsao | Hayes Jackson | January 30, 2004 | 1AJF09 |
| When Tom decides to have a room fit for him to write and be himself in, Susan decides to give the job to Mike Evans, a locally very popular former class mate, once believed the most promising of his year - unfortunately he turns out to be the worst in the business, not even licensed... This episode's plot has a few more surprising twists. | |||||
| 14 | "A Portrait of Susan" | Gail Mancuso | Jason Gelles & Mike Haukom | February 13, 2004 | 1AJF17 |
| When Tom consults the young doctor Jim Coglan, he's a little worried how eagerly he's told to drop trou and gripped in his intimate region, but when the MD calls at the Kelly house, being another local acquaintance, it soon turns out he took his fiancée Trudy only as the best available copy of Susan, apparently his only love, and even dumps Trudy 'for her' on the spot - yet Tom soon discovers his intentions are even more twisted but innocent. | |||||
| 15 | "Lewis Turns Twenty-Fun" | Mark Cendrowski | Reese Bryant | February 20, 2004 | 1AJF14 |
| Susan spends too much time and (his) money at the mall for Tom's taste, so he puts it she has way too much spare time- to his surprise she decides to look for a job. For Lewis' twenty-first birthday the Kellys plan the usual kids party in the pizzeria; Mary has coined and even registered the term 'twenty-fun'. Tom convinces Chris that even Lewis must be ready for a more manly celebration at 21, so they first plan a (more frat style?) evening at a bar. Mary is green with envy when Susan lands the only job she was ever fired from: hostess; it's at Mario's restaurant, so the Kellys reserve a table for Lewis' birthday party there. Unfortunately the drinking turns out dry -thrown out of the bar as Lewis is still a few hours under age- and painful: he gets accidents sending him to the ER twice, losing each eye-brew. Finally at the restaurant, another family tradition, ma's birthday cake in the form of a bug, is against the restaurants policy not to allow any brought-along food, which tests Susan's loyalty to family or employer. | |||||
| 16 | "Double Dating" | Jerry Zaks | Tasha Goldstone | February 27, 2004 | 1AJF16 |
| When Tom finally finds an old male friend in Kansas, and they talk sports and other guy stuff in a bar all night instead of the Kelly's stuff such as food, Susan gets enough of a taste of his conversational boredom to realize he needs a friend, but in order for her not be left out they figure the only solution is to match up Bob with one of her female friends so they can go out as two couples. Mary and Chris host a fancy dress-up 'Oscar night' by the TV, but Sandy is worried when Lewis finds money in his tuxedo which he thinks someone gave him as a present at Marys wedding. On the Oscar evening Susan tries to match Bob with her school friend Julie as subtly as a hurricane, and Mary introduces Bob to Justine, a divorce-gloomy super-nag. Lewis discovers on the wedding pictures it was the priest who didn't get paid. When the couples double-date, Bob and Justine have a surprising announcement. | |||||
| 17 | "Chris and Mary Fight" | Mark Cendrowski | Steve Holland | March 5, 2004 | 1AJF13 |
| As Tom is quite happy constantly bickering with Susan like lovers only allow each other, he secretively encourages his docile brother-in-law Chris to stand his ground for once against his ever bossy wife Mary, but in that couple it soon leads to the first-ever break-up lasting over three hours, just when the Kelly parents plan a 'perfect' dinner for the first girl-friend that Lewis might even seem a wedding option for. Meanwhile Mary stays at their place, and overcomes Tom initial aversion by showing how much better she's at housework then either he or Susan even knew was possible, and waiting on him as she did with Chris. But will these role reversals keep satisfying everyone? | |||||
| 18 | "Talk Radio" | Gail Mancuso | Hayes Jackson | March 12, 2004 | 1AJF18 |
| Tom Wagner is delighted to hear he may finally write an article for a paper in his native New York, but as the Kellys find out they not only expect him to mention them, but Mary arranges -behind his back- an interview for him on a popular radio talk show; as the presenter is a frustrated would-be author, he tricks Tom into insulting all Kansas so the whole family is shunned, just when dad hoped to become treasurer of his club. Meanwhile 'baby brother' Lewis is told by ma, being a major now he should start buying things himself, but rather tricks Susan into doing it for him (at Toms expense) by appealing to her maternal and shopping instincts. | |||||
| 19 | "The Other Sister" | Mark Cendrowski | Liz Astrof | March 19, 2004 | 1AJF15 |
| When Susan and Mary's younger sister Lisa returns home from classes in London, she is welcomed as the 'baby girl', but Tom soon finds out she has grown up and wants to accept an invitation to join friends on a site-seeing trip through Europe and study art history, not nursing nor commuting with the car her parents have ready for her. Chris warns him in-laws like them have no real vote in family affairs, but Tom tries to enlist everyone to encourage Lisa to stand up for her dream against their parents' expectations. | |||||
| 20 | "The Plan" | Gail Mancuso | Michelle Nader | March 26, 2004 | 1AJF19 |
| Tom and Susan ponder what to do with his tax refund. Lewis's sleeping is so excessive even his parents feel it's time to force him to get active by charging rent- he immediately announces to move out; when ma puts dad in the doghouse for the idea, Lewis decides to milk him big-time for accepting to stay. Chris waited a month before telling Mary her master-plan for their entire lives is down the drain because he lost his job; Mary is a raging wreck for days. Susan starts her own plan and economizing. Tom convinces Chris to admit he doesn't want to stay in computers, but what then? Tom makes Susan give up the plan in exchange for diamond earrings. Chris decides to get no job, but buy, fix up and sell houses instead- then he's offered his old job back, to Mary's delight... | |||||
| 21 | "The Good Son-in-Law" | Gail Mancuso | Gigi McCreery & Perry Rein | April 16, 2004 | 1AJF20 |
| When Toms symbol is eliminated from the dog house system for being the only repeat offender ever, he decides to ingratiate himself again. First he agrees to loan Chris $10,000 for his first house fix & re-sale project, but when Susan accepts Mary's condition not to tell the family, he needs an alternative and decides to pretend he's accepting to ghost-write sports hero Tony Gonzalez' book just to impress everyone. Chris is delighted to be the boss for once, but soon finds the family volunteers completely ignore his precise instructions. Toms plan B tumbles down as his lies get known, but so does the truth. | |||||
| 22 | "Kansas v. Tom's Parents" | Gail Mancuso | Liz Astrof | April 23, 2004 | 1AJF21 |
| At his retirement party, Tom's pa state it's about time for Tom to move back to New York now he's been offered a job and a relation's prestigious flat is about to be available, but Susan decides to convince them that is unnecessary by inviting -well, ordering- them to attend her parents' wedding anniversary which is held in 'Horace', the house Chris has bought and fixed up but is emotionally not ready to part with. As Lewis doesn't now how to tell his parents he wants to move in with his girlfriend, he just moves out the content of his room piece by piece. Yet Tom is not at ease with his the coming of his folks, realizing they'll see how much warmer the Kelly family is then theirs ever was. |
Read more about this topic: Married To The Kellys
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