List of X-Play Characters - "S" Characters

"S" Characters

• Mr. Sackman: The abusive father of Sackboy, the main character from LittleBigPlanet. Playing the role of the stereotypical "stage father", Mr. Sackman forces his son into the video-game business in order to satisfy his own unfulfilled dreams of media stardom.

First Appearance: Episode No. 20081106

Performed by: Unknown

• "Sergeant Gary 'Roach' Sanderson": see "Cullen, Edward"

• "Sandman": The infamous Spider-Man supervillain Flint Marko granted Morgan an exclusive interview during X-Play's Spider-Man 3 special, where he revealed that - not only was he the one who actually killed Ben Parker - he killed Batman's parents, blew up Krypton, assassinated JFK, created the McGriddle, cancelled Gilmore Girls, and put Paris Hilton in jail.

First Appearance: Episode No. 7067

Performed by: Ed Lamanna

• Santa's Lawyers: A pair of elves from the North Pole named Mistletoe Reuben and Crumpet Katz, who appear during X-Play's 2006 holiday special to perform an "audit" against Adam and Morgan for not spreading enough "Christmas cheer". The two co-hosts are spared the elves' damning legalese when the Tricycle of Kwanzaa arrives and announces that he has initiated a hostile takeover of "Santa's umbrella corporation".

First Appearance: Episode No. 6131

Performed by: Mistletoe Rubin (Joel Rubin), Crumpet Katz (Louie Katz), Tricycle of Kwanzaa (voice of Guy Branum)

• Joshua Sark Sr.: see Dante's Hairclub for Demonslayers

• "Sasquatch": A character cut from the official MvC3 roster, he was the former leader of the super hero team Alpha Flight, but was rejected for being Canadian.

First Appearance: Episode No. 20110217

Performed by: Unknown

• Sat'an: The villain of X-Play: The Musical, who tempts Adam and Morgan into signing a contract to create a video game based on their show, by promising them power and fame and fortune (and matching panda bears). The deal goes horribly wrong, however, when the game turns out to be "possessed" by an evil fetus-like creature ... Realizing the error of their ways, Adam and Morgan destroy the game and give it a one out of five, but not before Sat'an executes an escape clause in the contract, making himself millions of dollars in the process (NOTE: The Sat'an character returned in a later episode, marking the release of Wrath of the Lich King, by offering to help Morgan clear a Level 100 epic quest in exchange for her immortal soul. This version of the character was portrayed by a different actor, and assumed a more traditional devilish look of red skin and black horns. Also, it was revealed that Sat'an had previously revealed himself to Morgan under the name Tammy, when he slept with her ex-boyfriend and then twittered about it the following day).

First Appearance: Episode No. 7015

Performed by: Sat'an (Unknown), Billy the Newspaper Boy (Jonathan Mann, AKA GameJew), Doctor (Mike Shaw), The X-Play Creature (Paul Bonanno)

• Scratch: The twin brother of Sniff, who acts about as shady as Sniff does. However, instead of an affinity for sniffing things, Scratch prefers to (obviously) scratch things ... specifically, scratching some mad beats out.

First Appearance: Episode No. 6051

Performed by: X-Play segment producer Jonathan Solin

• Screaming Intern: see Interns

• Secret Agent Steve: see Special Agent Bob and Secret Agent Steve

• Sess Rider: A parody of the television show Knight Rider, featuring Adam Sessler and his talking car "KITT" (pronounced "ket" to avoid copyright infringement), which stands for "Knight Industries Turbo Tires". Our two heroes are presented with the task of critiquing the downloadable content available in Burnout Paradise, such as the "Ghoul Stoppers" car and "The Bootlegger".

First Appearance: Episode No. 20090304

Performed by: Sess Rider (Adam Sessler), "KITT" (Unknown)

• Lando Sessler: see Darth Fanboy

• "Mrs. Sessler": Adam's dear sweet mother (you can really see the family resemblance), who has absolutely no respect for his job as a video-game reviewer, and is disappointed in just about everything that Adam has ever done (NOTE: She speaks with a Jewish accent, although Adam's actual religious affiliations - if any - are unknown).

First Appearance: Episode No. 6092

Performed by: Adam Sessler

• Sessler-Bots: Crude drawings of wind-up dolls made to resemble host Adam Sessler (in a parody of the game Mario vs. Donkey Kong 2: March of the Minis). Adam uses these robots in an attempt to take over the world, attacking such landmarks as the Eiffel Tower and Epcot Center, before the Morgan-Bot (a picture of Morgan's face combined with a tank and Transformers toy) chases them away.

First Appearance: Episode No. 6110

Performed by: None

• Sharon: see Automatic Review Robot 3000

• Shirt-No-Eric: see Morgan-San and Adam-San

• Shirtless Eric: see Interns

• Sigrid: see Valkyries

• Silvia: see Mr. and Mrs. Bob Muffin

• "Sin-Eater": A character cut from the official MvC3 roster, who also goes by his alter-ego Stanley Carter.

First Appearance: Episode No. 20110216

Performed by: Unknown

• Skip : see Mr. Altair

• Skip : The head instructor for the Xbox Live New Member Orientation class, which teaches prospective Xbox Live users important information, such as picking a gamertag and using the Vision camera to "take pictures of your junk."

First Appearance: Episode No. 20080423

Performed by: Unknown

• Skyrim Guard: In a comedy skit entitled The X-Play Scrolls 5: Skyrim (which premiered during the live X-Play special from PAX East 2012), a guard from the Skyrim universe was shown traversing the X-Play offices, doling out quests like retrieving the TPS reports from the "Printer of Doom" and collecting two hundred Crimson Nirnroots.

First Appearance: Episode No. 20120411

Performed by: Unknown

• Slappy the Fish: see Slippy the Fish and Slappy the Fish

• "Slash": A mute version of the world famous guitarist, who appears during the review for the game Rocksmith.

First Appearance: Episode No. 20111116

Performed by: Unknown

• Slippy the Fish and Slappy the Fish: Real red snappers who play "cousins" and are (supposedly) good friends with Adam ... which didn't stop him from deep-frying and eating both of them (NOTE: Another fish claiming to be Slippy made an appearance during Adam's birthday celebration, but the identity of the fake fish - possibly a trout - is currently unknown).

First Appearance: Episode No. 141 (Slippy), Episode No. 5026 (Slappy)

Performed by: None

• Elizabeth "Lizzie" Smelter: see Wallace, Clifton

• Sniff: A shady looking, paranoid individual whose nose is always covered in white powder (the implication being that it is cocaine, but this is never stated), and who sniffs and snorts anything he sees.

First Appearance: N/A

Performed by: X-Play segment producer Jonathan Solin

• "Solid Snake": An obese parody of the popular Metal Gear Solid character, who was given the very dangerous assignment of retrieving a codec containing Russian nuclear secrets disguised as a snow globe; due to a clerical error, the snow globe was sent to an office-supply company in Pittsburgh. Discussing his assignment with "Otacon" over wireless radio communication, it was specifically stated that Snake was not to harm anyone and to avoid detection, but his ample girth proved to make the latter objective nigh-impossible (hiding behind walls and under cardboard boxes did little to conceal his figure). Therefore, he was forced to shoot several employees (even though he later lied when reporting back to Otacon and said that no one was hurt).

First Appearance: Episode No. 6137

Performed by: Solid Snake (Guy Branum), Otacon (Unknown)

• Sony Gamer: see The Mac Gamer

• Sparkle: see "Cullen, Edward"

• Special Agent Bob and Secret Agent Steve: Characters from X-Play's machinima series, Splinter Cell Co-op Theater (using gameplay footage taken from Chaos Theory and later Conviction). The two fictitious agents - particularly Steve - are totally inept, and can usually be found discussing the movie Bareback Mountain or verbally harassing their female contact Stacey, rather than completing their objective (NOTE: In the first edition of Splinter Cell Co-op Theater, the two characters actually have different names highlighted at the bottom of the screen ... Steve - wearing the blue goggles - is labelled "Bob", and Bob - in the red goggles - is named "Keldroc").

First Appearance: Episode No. 5038

Performed by: Bob (voice of Jason Cheung), Steve (voice of Matt Keil), Stacey (Unknown)

• Spectre Mifflin staff: Characters from a skit entitled The Office: Mass Effect Edition, which parodies both the popular US television series and the Xbox 360 title. It follows the exploits of a Turian regional manager named Krillius and his employees at Spectre Mifflin Inc., whose sole purpose is to "protect the Citadel from legal repurcussions resulting from the Spectre's actions."

First Appearance: Episode No. 20080114

Performed by: Krillius (Paul Bonanno), James the salesman (Unknown), Ashley the secretary (Unknown), Dwayne the assistant to the regional manager (Unknown)

• Spencer the Helper Monkey: As the name implies, Spencer is a helper monkey that the staff of X-Play hired out for the day to try to make their lives easier ... unfortunately, it didn't quite work out that way, as the episode ends with Spencer killing Adam and Morgan (off-screen) with a knife.

First Appearance: Episode No. 5075

Performed by: Spencer Monkey

• Sam Spook, Paranormal Investigator: A 1950s-style private detective in the mold of Sam Spade (in actuality, this is a character from the game Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Summoner, with creative voice acting supplied by the cast of X-Play).

First Appearance: Episode No. 6108

Performed by: voice of X-Play co-producer Paul Bonanno

• "Squirrel Girl": A character cut from the official MvC3 roster, this female superhero (alter ego Doreen Green) was rejected after it was discovered that she had rabies.

First Appearance: Episode No. 20110217

Performed by: G4tv.Com games editor Nikole Zivalich

• Stabby: Blair Herter's pet unicorn, revealed during the review for Wii Fit Plus.

First Appearance: Episode No. 20091022

Performed by: None

• Stacey: see Special Agent Bob and Secret Agent Steve

• Mario Stark: Appearing during the show's Game of Thrones parody (entitled Video Game of Thrones), this "lord of the Mushroom Kingdom and warden of the warp pipe" must try and unite the eight worlds against the threat of war, for "winter is coming ... when the holiday game releases wrestle for supremacy"; as Sir Nathan Drake and the PlayStation exclusives take the Riverlands, Zelda Lannister (while not busy inappropriately cuddling with her brother Link Lannister) laments the fact that "the Targaryen girl has hatched Yoshi eggs" and therefore must die. Meanwhile, the Dark Knights of Arkham City send "King Baratheon" a "slave whore" as a sign of their allegiance, who turns out to be "Robin" ("Holy human trafficking, Batman!").

First Appearance: Episode No. 20111031

Performed by: Mario Stark (Unknown), "Toad" (Unknown), "Altaïr" (Unknown), "King Robert Baratheon" (Unknown), Zelda Lannister (Unknown), Link Lannister (Unknown), "Lara Croft" (Unknown), "Tyrion Lannister" (Unknown), Angry Bird of Winterfell (None), "Master Chief" (Unknown), "Daenerys Targaryen" (Jessica Chobot), "Robin" (Unknown)

• Starkiller: see Emperor

• "Ringo Starr": see "The Beatles"

• Steroid-Enhanced Morgan: After Morgan takes some Cherry Flavored Children's Chewable Steroids to up her game (just like the pros do), we are left with this muscle-bound behemoth in a wig who throws his (her?) weight around the X-Play offices.

First Appearance: Episode No. 5013

Performed by: The Great Corrado

• Norman Stevens: A character cut from the official MvC3 roster, he started out as a background zombie for Resident Evil 3: Nemesis.

First Appearance: Episode No. 20110215

Performed by: Unknown

• Reggie Stevens: see E! True Hollywood Story Re-enactment Team

• Brad Stevenson: During their review of The Cube, the X-Play staff discovered that the puzzle game's signature blocks were actually controlled by people rolling around inside of the cubes. Brad Stevenson, a self-described "block jockey", granted them an exclusive look inside his line of work.

First Appearance: Episode No. 7062

Performed by: Unknown

• "Patrick Stewart": A parody of the famous British actor, who believes that all video games should be exclusive for the N-Gage (this is a play on words of Stewart's catchphrase "Engage!" from his role as Captain Jean-Luc Picard on Star Trek: The Next Generation). The "Patrick Stewart" character (known for his terrible bald wig and cheesy English accent) has also been portrayed in the role of Professor X from the X-Men films (he is shown in the famous "chess playing scene" with Magneto - voiced by Michael Leffler - only they play more "kid-friendly" games like Connect Four and Hungry Hungry Hippos).

First Appearance: Episode No. 5031

Performed by: X-Play segment producer Jonathan Solin

• "Cloud Strife": see Cyborg Pirate

• "Sub-Zero": see "Superman"

• Mrs. Sub-Zero: see "Superman"

• "Superman": During their review of Mortal Kombat vs. DC Universe, X-Play uncovered some fatalities designed for the Last Son of Krypton that were eventually cut from the final build of the game: blowing cigarette smoke in the face of "Sub-Zero" so that he will - eventually - die of cancer (Second-Hand Smokality), hanging him from a noose with a doctored suicide note (Fake Suicidality), and travelling back in time to 1976 in order to assassinate the still-pregnant "Mrs. Sub-Zero" and erase the future ninja from the space-time continuum (Time Paradoxality).

First Appearance: Episode No. 20081117

Performed by: "Superman" (Unknown), "Sub-Zero" (Unknown), Mrs. Sub-Zero (Unknown)

• Susie: see Cobra and Mongoose

• Officer Sykes: see X-Play COPS