List of X-Play Characters - "B" Characters

"B" Characters

• "Bacchus": see "Kratos"

• Mitch Bacon: see Daniels, Melanie

• Private Ball-Bag: A lowly recruit going through boot camp in the Bulletstorm universe, who giggles when his commanding officer says "Nothing quite like the smell of manmeat in the morning," which earns him a round of gunfire in the ass (Fire in the Hole) followed by the officer using his electric leash to throw him through a brick wall ... However, he gets his revenge when he accidentally vaporizes his commanding officer with his laser rifle, because he forgot to turn the safety on (NOTE: In an exclusive video on the G4TV website, it is revealed that the commanding officer actually survived the blast, although he was stripped of his ranking and now goes by the name of Private Dick-Fart).

First Appearance: Episode No. 20110221

Performed by: Private Ball-Bag (Brian Posehn), Private Dick-Fart (R. Lee Ermey)

• "King Robert Baratheon": see Stark, Mario

• Barbarians: see Flappy Jaws

• Barry: Also known as the "I hate Adam Sessler" guy, this is the main character in a commercial produced by Slacquer Production & Post that aired frequently on the G4TV network when the channel first began to broadcast X-Play. In the commercial, the character of Barry would be jealous of the fact that Adam got to spend so much time with Morgan Webb, and even built a small shrine in his room in her honor. The spot can be viewed here: http://www.slacq.com/Reel/08/08XPlay.html

First Appearance: N/A

Performed by: Dave Stann

• "Batman": see Phelps, Cole

• The X-Play Bear: Originally he was part of a segment on X-Play called A Guy in a Bear Suit Explains..., where a guy in a bear suit explained complicated programming terms (as they apply to video games), such as vertical sync, before mauling the cameraman. However, during the transition from TechTV to G4TV, the X-Play Bear underwent a transformation (his bear suit became a darker shade of brown and looked less realistic) and is now pretty much relegated to simply dancing around during certain game reviews.

First Appearance: N/A

Performed by: Original (Robert Heron), Current (Michael Leffler)

• "The Beatles": X-Play's version of the "Fab Four" appear in their Sgt. Pepper uniforms (along with cheesy bowlcut wigs and moustaches) while playing The Beatles: Rock Band ... as well as making claims that all British people's faces are "stupid" and that animals (not just animal costumes) are "sexy".

First Appearance: Episode No. 20090908

Performed by: "Ringo Starr" (Unknown), "Paul McCartney" (Michael Leffler), "John Lennon" (Unknown), "George Harrison" (Unknown)

• "Niko Bellic": see X-Play COPS

• Miss Bendova: see Unemployed Ninja

• Dr. Heimlich Betzer: A German "scientist" who (supposedly) holds a PHD in "Suckology", and has written the book Sweet Christ, That Sucked! Basically, he's an expert at telling you how much something sucks; for example, the game Bomberman: Act Zero falls somewhere in between Lady in the Water and the black plague.

First Appearance: Episode No. 6105

Performed by: voice of X-Play associate producer Michael Leffler

• The Big Bald Guy: A supposed art teacher who encourages his students to paint him in the nude (NOTE: This character has never officially been given a name; Adam refers to him as "the big bald guy who takes his clothes off" after the preview of WWE Day of Reckoning 2, but during the X-Play Origins Episode he calls him Fat Bald Gay Guy instead).

First Appearance: Episode No. 5059

Performed by: X-Play head writer Guy Branum

• Bill: X-Play's official Mii avatar.

First Appearance: Episode No. 7020

Performed by: None

• Billy the Newspaper Boy: see Sat'an

• Billy the Pokémon fan: An obsessed fan of the Pokémon series of video games, who will take on the alter ego of "Billychu" whenever he is frightened. Billy eventually decides that he needs to "grow up" and abandon such juvenile pleasures ... so he moves on to Yu-Gi-Oh!.

First Appearance: Episode No. 5113

Performed by: X-Play intern coordinator Robert Manuel

• Trent Bishop: In an attempt to achieve sexual equality with the proliferation of "booth babes" found at gaming conventions, this American Booth Bro made an appearance at the 2008 Leipzig show wearing nothing but denim shorts and covered in baby oil. He displayed the right attitude ("My whole goal is to be judged just on my exterior!") but ultimately failed in his quest to be hired by one of the gaming companies.

First Appearance: Episode No. 20080918

Performed by: Unknown

• "Jacob Black": see "Cullen, Edward"

• "Black Widow": The appearance of this Marvel Comics villainess was purported to be from never-before-seen cutscenes of the upcoming video game based on the Iron Man 2 film ... Unfortunately, the character in question looked nothing like Scarlett Johansson.

First Appearance: Episode No. 20090727

Performed by: "Black Widow" (Michael Leffler), "Iron Man" (Unknown)

• Dirk Blastdong: The founder of Dirk Blastdong Studios, a porn company which produces films based on popular video game titles. Some of his more popular works have included "Anal Kombat vs Double D Universe" (starring "Sub-Zero" and "Wonder Girl"), "Ratchet and Skank", "Assassin's Cream", "Queers of War", "Pokémon Pearl Necklace", "Destroy All Human Vaginas!", "LittleD*ckPlanet", and "Donkey Punch Country Jr.".

First Appearance: Episode No. 20081218

Performed by: Dirk Blastdong (Unknown), Sandy Bottoms (Unknown), "Sub-Zero" (Unknown), "Wonder Girl" (Unknown)

• René Bleszinski: see Webb, Indiana

• Blogort: A "robot of ill repute", who led R.O.B. down a path of intoxication and sensuality, ultimately designing a metallic phallus (nicknamed his "bundled arrogance") for R.O.B. to wear. This eventually led to the Nintendo mascot's downfall, as he was melted down to fill the cavities of grumpy old people.

First Appearance: Episode No. 5097

Performed by: Unknown

• Mr. Blonde: see Reservoir Geeks

• Bob and Steve: see Special Agent Bob and Secret Agent Steve

• Boombastis: A character from the Extreme Pong skit, Boombastis is an extremely overweight geisha who is eventually killed during a match with Morgan "The Wookie" Webb (Morgan knocks the ball directly into "her" mouth, choking her to death).

First Appearance: Episode No. 6069

Performed by: X-Play head writer Guy Branum

• Sandy Bottoms: see Blastdong, Dirk

• The Brain: see "The Breakfast Club"

• "The Breakfast Club": A direct (albeit darker) parody of the 1985 movie, where the X-Play gang plays a group of high school students serving Saturday detention. The principal forces them to write game reviews, but they all eventually write a suicide pact instead.

First Appearance: Episode No. 6025

Performed by: The Brain (Adam Sessler), The Princess (Morgan Webb), The Athlete (Michael Leffler), The TV Host (Kevin Pereira), The Kook (Unknown), "Principal Vernon" (Unknown)

• Mr. Brown: see Reservoir Geeks

• Kwame Brown: see Dante's Hairclub for Demonslayers