List of Viz Comic Strips - K - O

O

• Kewl Chix – shallow, vacuous and materialistic teenage girls who only care about their social life.
• The Lager Lads – somewhat like the Real Ale Twats, these are a group of clean cut, upstanding beer aficionados who like lager more than anything. Inevitably, barmen tell them to "piss off" or urinate in their beer. The Lads never seem to notice there's anything wrong with their drinks after this happens, both highlighting the weak flavour of lager compared to other beer and showing the Lads up to be idiots. The strips were inspired by a series of advertisements for McEwan's lager, in which - Chris Donald noted - a group of smiling, happy young men drink copious amounts of lager but never "got pissed or glassed anybody".
• Lazy Disinterested 16 Year-Old Photo Shop Girl – a teenage girl who works in a local photo supply shop. She has a very unenthusiastic attitude, and is unhelpful to her customers; preferring to chew lots of bubblegum and text on her mobile phone for hours on end. Similar strips have the 'Lazy Disinterested 16 Year-Old' working in a shoe shop and a chip shop - the latter seeing her rather talk to a friend (possibly her boyfriend) than serve anyone, and being extremely slow and deliberately disinterested when she does serve someone. Her equally unhelpful counterparts are sometimes featured, including "Miserable Butch Bus Driver Lady" and "35 - Year - Old Obsessive War Workshop Assistant" (An older man so obsessed with role-playing games that when a boy tries to buy two sets of figures from different sets, he will only sell one or the other, but not both as they 'are from different scenarios').
• Laurie Driver – the schizophrenic long - distance driver of an articulated lorry, who murders female hitchhikers and dumps their bodies by the roadside.
• Lenny Left – a one-off strip featuring a 'radical' left-wing alternative comedian whose hackneyed 'street theatre' routines about Thatcherism arouse complete disinterest from the public. Lenny eventually sells out, and the last frame of the strip shows him doing a racist and homophobic stand-up routine in a Conservative club.
• Little Big Daddy – Schoolboy who seems to think he is 1970s wrestler Big Daddy.
• Little Plumber – Spoof of Beano comic strip Little Plum, in which the American Indian is a jobbing plumber.
• Lord Shite and Nanny No-Dumps – a one-off strip about an aristocrat who wishes to defecate "like common people" and his former nanny who is determined to stop him.
• Luvvie Darling – a melodramatic and self-important thespian who is always out of work, principally because he is completely talentless. Presents himself as an A-list actor but is only offered very minor (and ultimately humiliating) roles.
• Major Misunderstanding – an elderly, immaculately dressed reactionary who misunderstands everybody he meets, and consequently bewilders them with his right-wing rants.
• Maxwell Straker – Record Breaker. Maxwell spends most strips making increasingly futile attempts to appear in the Guinness World Records, only to end up in a bad situation where he inadvertently gets his wish (such as crashing his car while trying to break the land speed record, and falling into the world's longest coma.) He does eventually get into the Guinness Book of World Records, but only as "the world's daftest cunt".
• Meddlesome Ratbag – a series of strips featuring a pinch-faced, headscarf-wearing middle-aged woman (Mrs Ratbag). She takes great delight in delivering nagging lectures to complete strangers about minor breaches of social etiquette, and will go to extreme lengths to engineer a situation where she can make such a complaint. One strip began with her seeing a TV news item about the Rio de Janeiro carnival, whereupon she immediately flew to that city and booked a hotel room overlooking the carnival procession, purely in order to complain about the noise. Another strip was set during a minute's silence for a "some terrible tragedy or other" and saw her desperately (and unsuccessfully) trying to find someone who was breaking the silence, in order to remonstrate with them. She finally achieved her aim by breaking into a maternity ward and rebuking an exhausted birthing mother for the "disrespect" of failing to silence her newborn baby's cries.
• Mickey's Miniature Grandpa – a senile old man, convinced that he's four inches tall.
• Mickey's Monkey Spunk Moped – a motorised scooter which uses simian semen as fuel.
• Millie Tant – angry feminist who usually ends-up looking hypocritical. Inspired by the late American feminist author Andrea Dworkin.
• The Modern Parents – and their long-suffering children, Tarquin and Guinevere.
• Morris Day: Sexual Pervert. A moustachioed, jumper-wearing middle-aged man who is obsessed with pornography, ignoring his attractive wife who waits for him in their bedroom. Kentish Town estate agents Morris Day changed their name to Day Morris around the time of the first appearance of this character.
• Mr Logic – ("such is my name, therefore one may infer that this strip is in some way about me") a serious young man with no real empathy for other people. He uses highly technical and over-elaborate language rather than straightforward speech. The strip usually ends with Logic becoming the victim of his misunderstandings with others. Mr. Logic was inspired by Chris Donald's own brother, Steve, who was much later diagnosed with Asperger syndrome. Early versions of the character used the monikers "doodle duck dandy" and Hello World before arriving on Mr Logic.
• Mrs Brady the Old Lady – an old woman who spends all her time exaggerating her age and complaining about young people of today and how things were different in her time.
• Mrs Maybe and her crazy baby strips about a fat lady called Mrs Maybe, who makes suggestions to her baby on such matters as to where to go out to: the baby's usual response is "Let's fuck a coppa!"
• Nobby's Piles – a man with incredibly bad hemorrhoids.
• Norbert Colon – an old miser. In one strip, Colon shared top billing with hopeless ventriloquist Boswell Boyce ('he throws his voice') and wound up in a lunatic asylum; in another strip he went on a blind date only to find the dating agency had fixed him up with his own mother ("Oh turds! It's that tightwad son of mine!"), a dead ringer for Norbert only wearing a (clearly labelled) NHS wig.
• Norman the doorman a one off strip about a violent doorman named Norman who works at the cinema
• Norman's Knob– puerile tale of Norman who thinks if he rubs his brass doorknob that he keep in his pocket that magic things will happen to him. Norman rubs his doorknob a lot at inappropriate moments and indeed things do happen for him .....in the form of arrests from irate policemen.
• Nude Motorcycle Girl – a heroic female biker who solves crimes - naked except for a crash helmet, bikini pants and motorcycle boots.
• One Cut Wally – a gents barber who gives all his customers exactly the same haircut even when they asked for something else.
• Only Fools and Norses – a Viking version of the BBC comedy Only Fools and Horses. This idea was submitted by Dave Saunders.
• Outcast of the Pony Ballet School – a parody of the comic strips in the 1970s/1980s style of teenage girl's magazine such as Pony School and Bunty, in which Steve McFadden, for no apparent reason, attends a private school for girls where all his classmates are eleven or twelve years old.