Season 3 (January 27, 2000-February 11, 2001)
| Episode | Fight | Featuring | Deaths | Fight Specialty |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Deathbowl 2000 | Andre Agassi vs. Tiger Woods | Geena Davis (Appears throughout the episode), Kerri Strug and Brooke Shields | Brooke Shields: Ran over by Andre Agassi's golf cart while being used by Tiger as a human shield.
Tiger Woods: Explodes after having dozens of tennis balls shot up his rectum. |
The ring was decorated like a tennis court, after the flipping of a gymnast to decide if it would be decorated as a tennis court or a golf course. |
| O.J. Simpson vs. Joe Namath | Howard Cosell (As a guest commentator) | Joe Namath: O.J. flattened Namath's head with a quench bucket, and then catapulted him sky-high with a tackle practice dummy, where he was impaled on a goal post. O.J. then (anachronistically) vowed to find the real killer. | The third fight from the Deathmatch Vault, taped in 1973. The ring was filled with football equipment. | |
| Mark McGwire vs. Sammy Sosa | Mark McGwire: Head batted off like a baseball, which ends up crashing into a scoreboard.
Geena Davis: Stung by a scorpion while she was in desert on her way to the arena. She collapsed from exhaustion after releasing the CDM doves of peace from their cage, to which they immediately went feral on audience members. |
This fight was a home run derby, with the two competitors seeing how many of their opponent's bones they could break. | ||
| The New Employee | Christina Aguilera vs. Britney Spears | Debbie Matenopoulos, (replacing Stacy Cornbred) | No Winner: Both girls tore each other apart, but someone's arm was still moving. Noah Wyle did some tests and concluded a winner, but was proven wrong. No names were actually mentioned, so there's no way to figure out who won. | The two pop stars had their hair tied together in a "Ponytail of Pain". |
| Flea vs. Kenny G | Flea | Kenny G: Jaw torn off by Flea and thrown in mid-air, which caused it to boomerang back into Kenny G's head. | None. | |
| Anthony Edwards vs. Eriq La Salle vs. Noah Wyle | Noah Wyle: Anthony Edwards screams into his stethoscope causing the top of his head to explode. Then Eriq La Salle and Anthony perform a death-operation, slashing Noah to pieces and shocking him with a defibrillator.
Eriq La Salle: Edwards injects him with an intravenous bag containing malaria, causing him to turn yellow and decompose while at the same time, releasing lots of toxic gas in the arena. |
The ring is partially decorated like an emergency room. | ||
| Turn on Your TV Day | Bryant Gumbel vs. Katie Couric | Chet Zumditch (appears throughout the episode as a guest commentator), Emily Fingerhut and Willard Scott | Emily Fingerhut: Bryant Gumbel crushes her with a sofa.
Bryant Gumbel: Tossed into a chartboard and crushed after it collapses |
The ring is decorated like the set of the Today Show. |
| Judge Judy vs. Susan Lucci (later Mills Lane) | Susan Lucci: Head crushed inside a Bible before the fight even began.
Judge Judy: After killing Susan, Judy starts fighting Mills Lane, who tries to usurp Lane's referee jurisdiction. Mills decides to fight with a blindfold since "Justice is blind." Mills Lane eventually pushes Judge Judy into a chair so hard that the chair hits the wall, causing a desk lamp to fall over and land on Judy's head, electrocuting her like she was in an electric chair. |
The ring is decorated like a courtroom. | ||
| Craig Kilborn vs. Tom Green | Random Audience Members: Faces chewed off by Tom Green's "Funderific Flesh Eating Bacteria".
Craig Kilborn: Tom Green puts a megaphone in Craig Kilborn's mouth and screams, blowing out the back of his head. |
None. | ||
| Freak Fights | Larry Flynt vs. Hugh Hefner | Hugh Hefner: Flynt runs Hefner down with his wheelchair. He then takes Hugh's flattened body and folds it into a magazine and rips him in half. | None. | |
| Cousin Grimm vs. Pierce McCrack | Stone Cold Steve Austin | Random Audience Members: Crushed by Cousin Grimm and Pierce McCrack when they were out of control. Stone Cold Steve Austin appears and explains to them how to fight.
Pierce McCrack: Cousin Grimm rips out his spinal column and impales him with it. |
Part one of the Freak Fight series. | |
| Eminem vs. Kid Rock | Carson Daly(As a guest referee) and Joe C |
Carson Daly: Innards torn out by Joe C. Eminem: After kicking Joe C. up to the top of the arena, he falls on Eminem's head, taking control of Eminem's body. Kid Rock: After not acknowledging Joe C's efforts to help him win, Joe C. (using Eminem's body) jumps on Kid Rock, crushing his chest repeatedly. |
This fight was call TRD (Total Request Dead), When viewers are allowed to call in to both contestants and give shout-outs to their friends. | |
| Celebrity Deathmatch's Salute to Hollywood | Kevin Costner vs. Kevin Smith | Jason Mewes |
Kevin Costner: Eaten by a shark after he is packaged and mailed into the ocean. |
Both fighters were given the choice of using a costume and weapons from their movies to fight their opponent with. Costner chose the Postman, while Smith took on as a fictional superhero from the View Askew universe. |
| Kathy Bates vs. Sharon Stone | Sharon Stone: Sharon uses sledge hammer to knock Kathy's foot off. The foot ricochets around the arena until finally the sharp heel impales Sharon's forehead. | Both contestants were allowed to use murder weapons from famous femme fatale movies. | ||
| Alfred Hitchcock vs. Steven Spielberg | Steven Spielberg: Spielberg brings the Ark of the Covenant into the ring and releases spirits from it to attack Hitchcock. The spirits turn on Spielberg and tear him apart because he didn't pay them for their appearances in Raiders of the Lost Ark. | None. | ||
| Congressional Hearings | A clip show where Johnny and Nick argue about the show's violence before the United States Congress. Then the congress decides not to cancel the show and Senator Ted Kennedy (the only one who wanted the show canceled) starts attacking the congressmen. | Ted Kennedy | Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan: Face crushed into his skull by a head butt from senator Ted Kennedy when he contradicts Ted's verdict of arresting Stone Cold.
Senator Trent Lott: Senator Ted Kennedy steps on his head and crushes it. Senator Orrin Hatch: Senator Ted Kennedy beats him to death with a chair. Several Jury Members: Senator Ted Kennedy crushes them when he throws a table and some chairs into the jury. Senator Phil Gramm and Senator Richard Shelby: Heads smashed together by Senator Ted Kennedy. Senator Strom Thurmond: Died of a heart attack while watching the fight. He became too excited, which led to his cardiac arrest. |
All fights are either clips of past fights with an American theme, or Ted Kennedy fighting the U.S. Senate. |
| Teen Night | Alyssa Milano vs. Melissa Joan Hart | Tony Danza and Salem Saberhagen the Cat | Tony Danza: Face ripped off by Salem the Cat.
Melissa Joan Hart and Salem: Crushed by a burning pole. |
The two fighters have an assortment of spells and witchcraft material as weapons. |
| Mary-Kate Olsen vs. Ashley Olsen | Betty-Sue Olsen (the third Olsen twin) | Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen: Torn to shreds by Betty-Sue Olsen. | None. | |
| Jennifer Love Hewitt and Scott Wolf vs. Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe | Betty-Sue Olsen | Ryan Phillippe: Jennifer Love Hewitt catapults him with a table to a disco ball hanging over the ring, then the disco ball is cut down and he lands on a table. (Death unconfirmed)
Reese Witherspoon: Sliced to pieces by the ropes after she is accidentally knocked into them by Scott Wolf. Jennifer Love Hewitt: Early in the fight, Reese forces her to swallow a chicken, which fuses with her body and becomes a third breast between her regular ones. After the fight, when Jennifer is about to be crowned prom queen, Betty Sue Olsen rips the third breast out through Jennifer's back. Scott Wolf: Face sucked off by Betty-Sue Olsen. |
The ring is decorated as if for a senior prom. | |
| Sex, Lugs And Rock 'n' Roll | Pamela Anderson vs. Heather Locklear | Tommy Lee | Random Audience Members: Vaporized by the laser beams from Anderson's radioactive breasts.
Pamela Anderson: After overusing her upgraded, radioactive breasts, they malfunction and explode. Tommy Lee: Lowered by Heather Locklear into a crate full of hungry baby tree monkeys. |
The two fighters are fighting for the life or death of Tommy Lee, who is suspended over a crate of hungry baby tree monkeys. Both fighters can choose to either save or kill Tommy. Prior to the match Pamela Anderson had her breasts implants replaced with radioactive breasts that could shoot lasers from her nipples. |
| Axl Rose vs. Slash | Axl Rose: Cut up into paper dolls by Slash. | None. | ||
| Dale Earnhardt vs. Jeff Gordon | Jeff Gordon: Crushed under Dale Earnhardt's tire and ground to a pulp by his back tire. | The fight is a demolition derby set in a dirt ring. | ||
| Johnny & Debbie... In Love? (1) | Chuck Woolery vs. Regis Philbin | Regis Philbin: Lungs stabbed out after Chuck Woolery loses his hands and sharpens his arm stubs to points. | The two fighters are contestants in a macabre game show. By answering questions correctly, one of the straps holding them in their chairs opens, allowing access to one weapon. Incorrect answers cause the remaining straps to tighten, eventually cutting off hands and feet. | |
| Napoleon Bonaparte vs. Joe Pesci | Joe Pesci: Napoleon Bonaparte puts his smelly rotten hand (which he kept in his coat) into Joe Pesci's nose. He punches him repeatedly until his brains leak out his ears. Napoleon then throws Pesci into a toybox, killing him. | The fighters were given toys as weapons, a play on their small statures. | ||
| Kevin Bacon vs. All Comers (Meg Ryan, Martin Lawrence and Jesse Ventura) | Meg Ryan: Thrown into the audience and impaled on a sign.
Martin Lawrence: Head crushed by Kevin Bacon. Jesse Ventura: Kevin Bacon punches a hole through his body, climbs into the hole, and tears him in half. |
None. | ||
| Time Travelling (2) | Nick Diamond vs. The Satyr | Napoleon Bonaparte and Julius Caesar (As a guest commentator) | Napoleon Bonaparte: Stomped on and eaten by a T-rex before the first deathmatch.
No Deaths: While the Satyr is distracted by a woman in the audience, Nick shoves a Roman Candle up his rectum, which blows him in half. This does not kill the Satyr, but it is enough to end the fight. |
The match is fought in the ancient Roman Coliseum, which is overseen by Julius Caesar. |
| Sherlock Holmes vs. Jack the Ripper | Dr. Watson | Dr. Watson: Stabbed, sliced in half, forced to eat a British meat pie and then decapitated by Jack the Ripper.
Jack the Ripper: Impaled by the knives hanging in his coat when Sherlock Holmes buttons it for him. |
The match is fought in the darkened streets of the 1880s London. | |
| Joan Rivers vs. Melissa Rivers | Joan Rivers: The knot holding all of her face-lifted skin is untied, causing most of her flesh to fall off. | None. | ||
| In the Head of Nicky Jr. | Rage Against the Machine vs. The Machine | Tim Commerford and Brad Wilk: Sliced in half.
Zack de la Rocha and Tom Morello: Crushed and sliced to pieces. Their remains are both stuffed into jars afterward. |
None. | |
| Al Gore vs. "Weird Al" Yankovic | "Weird Al" Yankovic: Al Gore sucks out his brain through a vacant eyehole | None. | ||
| John Cusack vs. John Malkovich | John Cusack: Electrocuted by a nerve. | The two combatants are fighting on top of Nicky Jr.'s brain. | ||
| The Battle of the Heavy Metal Maniacs | Beni Trauma vs. Potato Khan | Mankind (appears throughout the episode, in this fight and in the second fight as a guest commentator) | Beni Trauma: Decapitated and ripped to pieces by a mutated Potato Khan's tentacles. Potato Khan then cooked his head and fed it to a kid celebrating his birthday. Throughout the episode, Potato Khan cooked for him, using Beni Trauma's parts. | second part of the Freak Fight series. |
| Ernest Hemingway vs. Mick "Mankind" Foley | Ernest Hemingway: Mankind uses his sock puppet, Mr. Socko and his signature move "the Mandible Claw", to tear off Ernest Hemingway's lower jaw. His brain, eyes and tongue fall to the floor. | None. | ||
| Fred Durst vs. James Hetfield | Fred Durst: Is stuffed with metal objects via vacuum cleaner (in reverse). Each object rips through him when the turnbuckle magnets turn on,.
James Hetfield, Mankind, and Mills Lane: After Mankind gets locked out of the arena, he shows up from the skylight and dives into the ring, causing it to implode upon himself, Mills and Hetfield. |
The two combatants are wearing steel plate armor, and the turnbuckles have electromagnets on them. | ||
| Best of WWF | A clip show of the fights involving wrestlers of the WWF starring Mick Foley (A.K.A. "Mankind") | |||
| The Prisoners | Bruce Springsteen vs. James Gandolfini | Steven Van Zandt (As a guest referee) | Steven Van Zandt: Ripped in half by Bruce Springsteen and James Gandolfini.
James Gandolfini: Flushed down a high-powered toilet. |
The fighters fought using bathroom equipment such as urinals, toilets and blow dryers in order to see who would adopt a rest area on the New Jersey Turnpike. |
| Drew Barrymore vs. Farrah Fawcett | Drew Barrymore: Neck stretched and snapped back, slicing her in half down the middle. | Each fighter has a specific, animal-related fighting style. Barrymore uses "Giraffe-Style", while Fawcett uses "Dodo-Style". | ||
| Christian Slater vs. Robert Downey Jr. | Security Guard: Christian Slater is shoved inside of him and rips his way out through the security guard's head.
Christian Slater: Robert uses a meat slicer, which he smuggled into the ring, to grind him to pieces. |
The ring has been decorated like a prison courtyard. | ||
| Courtney Love Returns | Eddie Murphy vs. Nick Nolte | Random Audience Man: Nick Nolte rips his face off, thinking he's Eddie Murphy in disguise.
Popcorn Vendor: Nolte dunks his head in his candy cart's deep fry vat. Random Audience Woman: Nick Nolte rips her "fake" breasts off, thinking she's Eddie Murphy in disguise. Eddie Murphy: Nick Nolte tears his heart out and shoves it in his mouth. |
When the fight started, Murphy was nowhere to be seen so Nolte began attacking random audience members in order to find him (a reference to Murphy often using heavy makeup in his film roles). Eventually, Murphy did show up, dressed as Nolte, which confused him even more. | |
| Macaulay Culkin vs. Haley Joel Osment | Bruce Willis and the ghosts of dead celebrities ("Weird Al" Yankovic, Emeril Lagasse, Sandra Bernhard, Antonio Banderas, Kid Rock, Richard Nixon, Cher and Matt Damon) | Macaulay Culkin: Torn apart by the ghosts of dead celebrities and then comes back as a ghost. | The ring has been decorated like a playground. | |
| Dave Grohl and Billy Corgan vs. Courtney Love | Billy Corgan: Shows up late to the fight and gets his head caught in the Dome Of Devastation as it's closing. Eventually Corgan's head is crushed by the dome.
Courtney Love: Dave Grohl chews through a wire holding a self-playing piano to the roof of the Dome Of Devastation, causing it to fall on top of Courtney Love. |
The match is fought in the Dome of Devastation with musical instruments hanging from the top. | ||
| The Return of Lucy Lawless | David Arquette vs. Paul Reiser | Lucy Lawless (As a guest commentator, appears throughout the episode) | Popcorn Seller: Impaled by Lucy Lawless's fangirl.
Paul Reiser: David Arquette puts a cell phone in Paul Reiser's head. The radiation emitted from the phone causes his head to explode. |
The fighters were given different types of telephones to use as weapons in reference to their numerous roles in phone-related advertisements. |
| Michael Douglas vs. Martin Sheen | Michael Douglas: Martin Sheen decapitates him with his own femur bone and then impales his head on a microphone. | The ring has been decorated like the Oval office. | ||
| TLC vs. Dixie Chicks | Lucy Lawless's fangirl: Ripped in half by Dixie Chicks and TLC.
Tionne "T-Boz" Watkins: She's sitting down on a table when Emily Robinson lands on it sending the table sky high and it whacks her head off. Emily Robison: Smashed through a mirror when she is catapulted by Lisa "Left-Eye" Lopes and bleeds to death. Rozonda "Chilli" Thomas: Martie Maguire throws alcohol bottles into her mouth, then jumps on her head and her head is blown to pieces by the broken beer bottles. Martie Maguire and Natalie Maines: Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes unties a chandelier that is above them and when it falls it crushes Martie and blows Natalie to pieces. Lisa "Left-Eye" Lopes: Hacked to pieces by Lucy Lawless upon trying to steal her trophy. |
The ring has been decorated like a southern bar. | ||
| Halloween episode II | Brendan Fraser vs. The Mummy | John Tesh, Martha Stewart, Rodney Dangerfield, Whoopi Goldberg, Ben Affleck and Michael Jackson |
The Mummy: One of his bandages gets caught on Rodney Dangerfield's watch, causing the Mummy to unravel. Brendan hits him in the butt with a chair, causing the Mummy's spine to fly out through the top of his skull. |
None. |
| Sarah Michelle Gellar vs. The Vampire | Sarah Michelle Gellar: Her blood is sucked out by The Vampire | None. | ||
| Zombie Stacey Cornbred vs. Debbie Matenopoulos | Zombie Stacey Cornbred: Crammed through a small crack in a door by Debbie Matenopoulos. Her remains are eaten by other zombies.
All Zombies: Explode after eating the chunks of zombie Stacey Cornbred. |
None. | ||
| A Night of Vomit | Burt Reynolds vs. William Shatner | Burt Reynolds: Shatner rips open Reynolds' torso and takes out his internal organs. | None. | |
| Ellen DeGeneres vs. Dr. Laura | David Crosby | Dr. Laura: Beaten and held upside down, causing her brain to fall out. | Viewers are allowed to call in to both contestants. | |
| George W. Bush vs. Gavin Rossdale | George Bush, Sr. and Barbara Bush | George W. Bush: Head explosion via guitar riffs from Gavin Rossdale's guitar. | None. | |
| Suddenly Diamond | Diana Ross vs. Whitney Houston | Diana Ross: Head burned via x-ray machine. | The third "Battle of the Devastating Divas". Both contestants were allowed to use elaborate jewelry as weaponry. | |
| Anthony Hopkins vs. Jodie Foster | Julianne Moore | Jodie Foster: Devoured by Anthony Hopkins. | The two combatants have been deprived of food for some time, are covered in bacon, corn and vegetable oil, and have their hands tied behind their back, so that they will fight by trying to eat each other. | |
| Charlton Heston vs. Russell Crowe | Charlton Heston: Crushed by the collapsing Tower of Terror. | The objective of the match is to reach the top of the Tower of Terror, a titanium tower covered in traps activated from the announcers' booth. | ||
| Family Night II | Ashley Judd vs. Wynonna Judd | David Letterman (as a guest commentator in the Main Event; appears throughout the episode) | Ashley Judd: After using a straw to suck out Wynonna's fat, Ashley's head becomes filled with blubber. She falls face-forward, splattering her head across the ring.. | None. |
| Carroll O'Connor vs. Sherman Hemsley | Carroll O'Connor and Sherman Hemsley: Both roll down a flight of stairs and die after going through a wall and into a closet. | The fourth fight from the Deathmatch Vault which took place in the 1970s. The ring was decorated like the set from All in the Family. | ||
| Alec and Daniel Baldwin vs. Damon and Keenen Ivory Wayans | Shawn Wayans, Marlon Wayans, William Baldwin, and Stephen Baldwin (all four are buried up to their necks on the beach; the winning family saves their other two siblings from the rising tide) | Damon Wayans: During the match, Daniel Baldwin hallucinates that he is in a hotel room and begins to destroy the ring as if he were trashing a hotel room. During his hallucination he rips out Damon's internal organs, thinking he is a minibar and that he's breaking beer bottles.
Keenen Ivory Wayans: A hallucinating Daniel smashes his head open while thinking he's a TV set. Alec Baldwin: A hallucinating Daniel bites off his head while thinking he's a cop trying to arrest him. Marlon Wayans and Shawn Wayans: Are not saved from the rising tide. William Baldwin and Stephen Baldwin: Are not saved from the rising tide. |
Each sibling team is fighting to save their other siblings from drowning on the beach, having been buried in the sand from the neck down at low tide. | |
| Celebrity Deathmatch Top 10 | A top 10 fights show hosted by Jerry Springer. | |||
| Nick's Little Friend | Phil Collins vs. Sting | Timmy Leland, Nick's little friend (appears throughout the episode) | Sting: Head smashed by his own severed feet, leaving only his brain and eyeballs. | This match goes on throughout the whole show as Sting attempts to do all 45 Kama Sutra positions with Collins. |
| Warren Beatty and Annette Bening vs. Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon | Warren Beatty and Susan Sarandon: Both impaled on the tusks of two audience members' rhino-shaped hats. | None. | ||
| Ol' Dirty Bastard vs. LeAnn Rimes | LeAnn Rimes: Ol' Dirty Bastard stomps on her head repeatedly while pulling her tongue out until she finally dies. | None. | ||
| Nick Gets High | Dana Carvey vs. Mike Myers | Klaus The Sprockets Monkey: He removes the metal clogs in one side of a weight and he's catapulted out of the ring and into a wall.
Mike Myers: Dana forces Mike's pinkie finger through his skull. |
The second "Actor's Showcase Showdown". Both contestants fight while interpreting characters from their movies and their Saturday Night Live sketches. | |
| Angelina Jolie vs. Sandra Bullock | James Haven | Random Audience Member: Accidentally hit in the head with a knife thrown by Angelina Jolie.
James Haven: Blown up by a bomb that he had fetched out from Angelina's ass. Sandra Bullock: Angelina stretches out her lips and places them on opposite ring posts. She proceeds to suck in air, drawing Sandra towards her until her lips whip off the ring posts and slice Sandra in half. |
None. | |
| Leonardo DiCaprio vs. Woody Harrelson | Leonardo DiCaprio: Knocked into a Venus fly trap by Woody Harrelson and eaten. | The ring has been decorated like a rain forest. | ||
| Deathcon 2001 | Linda Hamilton vs. Sigourney Weaver | Sigourney Weaver: Impaled on a small chest-burster figurine. | None | |
| Cousin Grimm vs. Potato Khan | Random Audience Member: Decapitated by Potato Khan when he sees him eating some French fries.
Potato Khan: Is sliced by a grate that Cousin Grimm was holding. He regenerates as numerous small pieces, he doesn't die since he eventually recomposes after killing Cousin Grimm. Cousin Grimm: After eating the small remains of Potato Khan, they get into his brain, hurting him from the inside. He tries to get them out by smashing his head into the turnbuckle and bashing his head with his club, the end result being that he smashes his own head in. |
part three of the Freak Fight series. | ||
| Harrison Ford vs. Samuel L. Jackson | George Lucas (as a guest referee) and Zatar the Alien | Samuel L. Jackson: Sliced into pieces and made into a birdhouse.
George Lucas: In an attempt to escape from fans, George Lucas gets caught in a Death Star-style garbage disposal and is crushed. Celebrity Deathmatch Audience: Vaporized when Zatar blows the arena to pieces with a giant blast from his space ship in an obvious homage to Independence Day. |
None. | |
| Fandemonium 2000 | Beavis vs. Butt-Head | Nicholas Kammerman, the biggest fan of Celebrity Deathmatch (appears throughout the entire episode) and the Great Cornholio | Butt-Head: Beavis, as the Great Cornholio, slices him up into meat strips with tongs and a spatula to make "TP for bunghole". | This is the only Deathmatch between two 2D animated characters. |
| Backstreet Boys vs. 'N Sync | Satan | Nicholas Kammeraman: Nick shoves him down a toilet in a Satanic ritual, which is full of lava.
Joey Fatone: Head crushed against a wall (Mentioned to have lived next episode). Backstreet Boys: While in the form of the "Backstreet Beast", they are tripped by JC Chasez and impaled on some spiked railings held up by Chris Kirkpatrick. Several Audience Members: The Backstreet Beast stomps them flat when it takes control of the deceased Backstreet Boys' bodies. Backstreet Beast: Justin Timberlake electrocutes it with some electric wires. |
None. |
Read more about this topic: List Of Celebrity Deathmatch Episodes
Famous quotes containing the word season:
“When we reached the lake, about half past eight in the evening, it was still steadily raining, and harder than before; and, in that fresh, cool atmosphere, the hylodes were peeping and the toads ringing about the lake universally, as in the spring with us. It was as if the season had revolved backward two or three months, or I had arrived at the abode of perpetual spring.”
—Henry David Thoreau (1817–1862)