Season 1 (May 14, 1998-October 22, 1998)
| Episode | Fight | Featuring | Deaths | Fight Specialty |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Seinfeld's Last Stand | Hillary Clinton vs. Monica Lewinsky | Drew Carey, Bill Clinton, Paula Jones and Gennifer Flowers | Gennifer Flowers: Accidentally hit in the face with Monica's trap-bladed beret thrown at Hillary.
No Winner: Bill Clinton accidentally told Paula Jones to "Grab nuts" through Stacy Cornbred's microphone, so he could have the peanuts he ordered earlier. This was misunderstood by both combatants, who turned on him. Bill then fled the arena in a Secret Service helicopter |
None |
| Mariah Carey vs. Jim Carrey | Drew Carey | Jim Carrey: Head exploded when Mariah Carey sang and held a very high note, much to the displeasure of every spectator and arena staff | None. | |
| Tim Allen vs. Jerry Seinfeld | Jason Alexander, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Michael Richards and Don King | Don King: Mills Lane accidentally threw a wrench at his head
No Winner: Tim and Jerry both fought like wimps throughout the entire fight until Jerry's co-stars, who were spectators, got into the ring and beat Jerry up, feeling that he betrayed them all by ending Seinfeld. |
None. | |
| Where is Stallone? | Rosie O'Donnell vs. Oprah Winfrey | Jerry Springer | Popcorn Vendor: Crushed when Oprah accidentally knocks down a spotlight on top of him.
No Winner: Jerry Springer interfered with both combatants, causing a double disqualification and challenged the two for a match individually, postponing the fight to a later date. |
None. |
| Liam Gallagher vs. Noel Gallagher | Gallagher | Liam and Noel Gallagher: Heads smashed by Gallagher's mallet | None. | |
| Arnold Schwarzenegger vs. Sylvester Stallone | Don King, Adrian Zmed | Don King: Arnold Schwarzenegger flicked a cigar into the audience that landed in Don King's hair, setting him on fire and eventually burning him alive
No Deaths: In a bizarre twist, both fighters punched and knocked each other out, prompting referee Mills Lane to count them out. Arnold managed to stand up, but Stallone sweep-kicked him to the floor as he stood up. Mills Lane then declared Stallone the winner. |
None. | |
| The Mystery Of The Loch Ness Monster | Bigfoot vs. Loch Ness Monster | Fran Drescher, Sean Connery, Don King, Mike Tyson, Pauly Shore and Carrot Top | Bigfoot: Sliced in half by the Loch Ness Monster's tail 6 seconds in the match.
Don King: Sliced in half by Loch Ness Monster's tail. Several Audience Members: Crushed and eaten by the Loch Ness Monster. |
None. |
| Mick Jagger vs. Steven Tyler | Liv Tyler |
Steven Tyler: Mick Jagger stabs him through the chest with his gigantic tongue. |
None. | |
| David Letterman vs. Jay Leno | Johnny Carson (as a guest referee, mysteriously disappears after beginning the fight), Loch Ness Monster, Fran Drescher and Ed McMahon | Loch Ness Monster: Electrocuted by an electric fence.
David Letterman: Crushed by the electrocuted Loch Ness Monster and the electric fence. Jay Leno: Diced by the electric fence when it fell on him and David Letterman. |
The fight takes place in an electrified steel cage. | |
| Celebrity Deathmatch Goes To The Movies | Roger Ebert vs. Gene Siskel | Spike Lee and Quentin Tarantino | Roger Ebert: Gene spins Roger around by his thumb until the finger binds that hold their thumbs together break, sending Ebert flying into the support beam of the commentator's booth, splitting his skull in half.
Nick Diamond: When Roger Ebert hit the commenting booth, he was thrown from the booth and put into a coma for two episodes |
Both fighters were forced to fight with their right thumbs tied together. |
| Dean Martin vs. Jerry Lewis | Frank Sinatra and Sammy Davis, Jr. | Jerry Lewis: Whacked out of the ring by Dean Martin (death unconfirmed) | The first fight from the Deathmatch Vault, set in the 1960s. | |
| Spike Lee vs. Quentin Tarantino | Woody Allen (as a guest referee) and Soon-Yi Previn | Spike Lee: Neck broken after Woody Allen karate chops him in the throat.
Quentin Tarantino: Ribcage ripped out by Woody Allen. |
None. | |
| Nick In A Coma | Cindy Crawford vs. Janeane Garofalo | Jack Nicholson (guest commentator replacing Nick Diamond throughout the episode) | No Deaths Both fighters were knocked out, to which Mills Lane called the match a draw. Both fighters decided on forfeits prior to the match, which both had to abide by. | If Janeane lost, she would have to lose 50 pounds, and if Cindy lost she would have to gain 50 pounds. |
| Elvis Presley vs. Jerry Garcia | Nick Diamond Jr., Stacy Cornbred, Jimi Hendrix (as a Special Guest Referee) | No Deaths: This fight takes place inside Nick's dream and the dream simply ends with both fighters punching each other. | This fight was a morphine-induced dream Nick had when Nicky Jr. was trying to call a nurse. | |
| Jerry Springer vs. Rosie O'Donnell vs. Oprah Winfrey | Leonardo DiCaprio (appears at the end of the episode to challenge Nicholson to a match) | Jerry Springer: Ripped in half like a wishbone by Oprah and Rosie.
Rosie O'Donnell: Diced up into cubes after Oprah shoves her through the Dome of Devastation. |
The fight took place in the Dome Of Devastation. | |
| Nick Returns | Fiona Apple vs. John Popper | Lenny Stanton, the executive producer's son (as a guest commentator replacing Nick Diamond) | Fiona Apple: Rolled over by John Popper and flattened. | None. |
| Christopher Walken vs. Gary Oldman |
Gary Oldman: Head crushed in Christopher Walken's hands. |
None | ||
| Garth Brooks vs. Marilyn Manson | Hanson | Garth Brooks: His brain fell out after Marilyn Manson blew the top of his head off with his guitar.
Hanson: All three members are sliced to pieces by a chainsaw held by Zac Hanson while attempting crush Marylin Manson like he did with them by cutting down the rafters. |
None. | |
| Presented By Big Bull Beer | Aretha Franklin vs. Barbra Streisand | Barbra Streisand: Melts after drinking a bucket of water that Aretha Franklin had contaminated with the bubonic plague. | The first "Battle of the Devastating Divas". Both contestants fought with medieval weaponry. | |
| Bill Gates vs. Michael Flatley | Robot Flatley | Bill Gates and Michael Flatley: Slammed repeatedly in the ring until both fighters broke into pieces. | None | |
| Leonardo DiCaprio vs. Jack Nicholson | Leonardo DiCaprio: Jack Nicholson slams Leo's face into the turnbuckle until his face caves into his skull (not actually killing him). A riot ensued after female DiCaprio fans saw what Jack had done to Leo's face. | None | ||
| The Missing Girl | Puff Daddy vs. Trent Reznor | "Nine Inch Daddy" and "Puff Nails" | Trent Reznor: Sliced to bits by vinyl records thrown by Puff Daddy. Mills Lane later puts him back together along with pieces of Puff Daddy
Puff Daddy: Sliced to bits by Trent Reznor's projectile "Nine Inch Nails" (finger nails). Mills Lane later puts him together with pieces of Trent Reznor |
None. |
| David Hasselhoff vs. John Tesh | KITT (in a Dune Buggy body), Sylvester Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, David Spade and Steven Seagal | David Hasselhoff: Face and skull ripped off when John Tesh unfolds an umbrella in his head. He collapses on top of KITT after the fight.
John Tesh: Crushed by KITT when David Hasselhoff asks him for help after his face gets torn off. |
Both fighters had the chance to choose a setting of how the ring would look for the fight by coin-toss. John wanted the set of Entertainment Tonight, while David wanted a Baywatch-like setting. In the end Hasselhoff won and got a ring set up to look like a beach. | |
| Bruce Willis and Demi Moore vs. Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman | Stone Cold Steve Austin and the missing little girl | Tom Cruise and Bruce Willis: Stone Cold Steve Austin slammed their heads together when they pulled on the missing girl's arms to see who gets to save her. | None. | |
| Fandemonium I | Stone Cold Steve Austin vs. Vince McMahon | Vince McMahon: Hit with the Stone Cold Stunner, which breaks his neck. Austin then beats the corpse to pieces with The Undertaker's tombstone gift, then throws the pieces into a casket, which is dragged out into a field and set on fire offscreen (due to Austin's playing to the crowd). | None. | |
| Adam Sandler vs. Chris Rock | Adam Sandler: Chris Rock does a Mexican liver punch and throws him outside the ring, impaling him on the control lever of the Fan of Fandemonium control panel, electrocuting him.
Chris Rock: Because security wouldn't allow him to escape the ring, he was eviscerated by the Fan of Fandemonium as it malfunctioned. |
When both fighters refused to fight, Mills Lane turned on the Fan Of Fandemonium, a giant razor-bladed fan, which would slowly descend into the ring until there was a winner or both fighters would be sliced to pieces. | ||
| Carmen Electra vs. Jenny McCarthy | Howard Stern (as a guest referee), Baba Booey (Stern's producer) | Carmen Electra: Howard Stern tries to release his signature super fart move, which launches him as a missile into Carmen, causing Howard to grab Carmen and crush her into a wall when they crash into it. | The contestants fought in a ring full of mud while wearing tiny bikinis, per fans' requests. | |
| Battle of The Bulls | David Spade vs. Steven Seagal | Spike Lee and Scottie Pippen | Steven Seagal: Spade uses the waistband of his underwear as a slingshot to shoot one of Scottie Pippen's NBA championship rings through Segal's head. | A grudge match. David Spade had enraged Steven Seagal during the "Presented By Big Bull Beer" episode and challenged him to a fight. |
| Prince Charles vs. The Artist Formerly Known As Prince | Queen Elizabeth II | Prince: Prince Charles smashes his head into his body with a croquet mallet. | None. | |
| Michael Jordan vs. Dennis Rodman | Dennis Rodman: Michael Jordan stuffs a basketball in his mouth and slam dunks him into a garbage can. | The fighters were provided with basketballs to attack each other. | ||
| 37th Annual Sci-Fi Fight Night | Céline Dion vs. Keith Flint | Zatar the Alien and Don King | Keith Flint: Head ripped off and eaten by Céline Dion, who then reveals herself to be Zatar the Alien.
Céline Dion: Ripped apart from the inside by Zatar. Don King: Zatar possesses him, causing him to faint after Zatar delivers a message through him. |
This fight wasn't planned. Dion was singing the national anthem when Keith attacked her from behind. |
| Zatar the Alien vs. Nick Diamond | Mark Hamill and Peter Mayhew | Two Security Guards: They accidentally shock each other while trying to stun Zatar with stun rods, who is dancing on the head of a catatonic Don King.
Mark Hamill and Peter Mayhew: Heads repeatedly slammed into the canvas by Zatar until both of them explode. Zatar the Alien: Nick Diamond shoved his hand through his eyeball and pulled out his brains. He didn't die though, since he is seen trying to leave the arena in the next fight. |
This fight also wasn't planned. It was a Sci-Fi Q&A segment with Peter and Mark until Zatar killed them, enraging Nick to leave the booth and end Zatar's disruptive behavior. | |
| David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson vs. Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith | Zatar the Alien | Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith: Accidentally vaporized by Smith as Jones tells him at the last second that he's holding the raygun backwards. | Both are dressed as their respective roles in sci-fi: The X-Files and Men in Black. | |
| Masters Of The Martial Arts | Roseanne vs. Kelsey Grammer | Roseanne: After being pinned under Roseanne for two rounds, Kelsey escaped the pin by slipping out of his own skin. Roseanne had a heart attack when she saw Kelsey's skinless body and promptly died. | None. | |
| Brandy vs. Courtney Love | Courtney Love: Mauled to pieces by an angry mama bear when Brandy tried to give Courtney its cub as a peace-offering. | None. | ||
| Jackie Chan vs. Jean-Claude Van Damme | Chuck Norris (as a guest referee) | Chuck Norris: Van Damme, thinking Chuck Norris was his opponent, kicked him cleanly in half through his waist.
Jean-Claude Van Damme: Jackie Chan ripped the arms off of Chuck Norris's corpse and decapitated Jean Claude with them. |
None. |
Read more about this topic: List Of Celebrity Deathmatch Episodes
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