Let's Go To Prison - Plot

Plot

The movie takes the perspective of John Lyshitski (Dax Shepard) who has spent most of his life in prison, serving three different sentences (starting when he was eight, when he stole the Publisher's Clearing House van). Each of his three trials were before Judge Nelson Biederman III, who seemed to show no mercy passing down indiscriminately harsh sentences. After being released from his third sentence, John decides to take revenge on Biederman. After trying to determine when Biederman would be presiding over his next case, he discovers (much to his dissatisfaction) that he had died three days prior to his release.

He turns his attention to the judge's brash son, Nelson Biederman IV (Will Arnett). At a dedication ceremony for Nelson III, John sneaks into Nelson's BMW, where he steals his change, spits in his coffee, and exhausts his emergency inhaler. After the ceremony, Nelson IV yells at his attorney (who has the speakerphone on in the fully occupied board room) clearly upset about having to go through such an ordeal, demanding that they leave him be and have a Fresca ready for him upon his arrival. He drives down the road and, finding his inhaler empty, immediately panics and hyperventilates. He stops at a pharmacy and scrambles through the shelves, desperately seeking some kind of replacement for the inhaler he lost. The pharmacy owners think he's another junkie, seeking some kind of fix. After finding and using an inhaler, he hides behind a counter and holds up the inhaler. The storeowner, however, mistakes the inhaler for a tiny pistol which leads the owners to call the police.

Nelson ends up arrested and, after turning down the idea of stepping down and serving his time, demands that the Biederman foundation do whatever they have to do to have him released. The board contemplates for a moment, considering asking the governor to get Nelson out. However, they soon realize that this is their opportunity to get rid of him, so they conspire to get him a poor defense in trial, since they are sick and tired of his stubborn attitude. With this severely inadequate legal representation, Nelson is found guilty and sentenced three to five years Rossmore State Penitentiary. John is not satisfied with Nelson just going to prison, however, so John decides to join him in prison by intentionally selling marijuana to undercover police officers. At his sentencing he pleads guilty to the same judge Nelson IV had, and asks for the same sentence (3-5 years) at the same prison. After negotiating with the judge and bribing a few guards, he ends up as Nelson’s cellmate, and here he pretends to be his friend, all in an attempt to give him the wrong advice on surviving life in prison.

While he is in jail, John consistently gives him bad advice and informs him about the people within the prison, including Lynard, the excessively violent leader of The White Kingdom, a white-supremacy ring within the penitentiary.

Somehow, Nelson gets himself out of a numerous array of jams with help from John. He soon meets gang leader Barry (Chi McBride), a hulking, burly gay fellow who basically rushes Nelson into a relationship with him. Despite his fearsome appearance, Barry has the heart of a true romantic beating within his massive, hairy torso – he likes smooth jazz (Chuck Mangione is a favorite of his), he plies potential romantic partners with his finest toilet-made Merlot, and he has transformed his prison cell into a candle-lit, rose-bedecked passion parlor. Nelson first submits to being his partner out of fear, and although he clearly has no kind of romantic interest in him at first, he becomes quite fond of Barry and love grows, thus suggesting that Nelson has come out as gay after spending a long time being closeted.

Nelson reaches his one-year parole hearing relatively unscathed, and actually the "top dog" in the prison. However, John will not allow his target to escape prison so easily: he drugs Nelson and writes "WHITE POWER" on his forehead and a swastika on each side of his neck. This leads to the parole board deciding that Nelson "needs" more time to be rehabilitated. Infuriated, Nelson brings John up on the act; John then confesses to putting Nelson in jail and the two get embroiled in a fight. It is here that John regrets bunking with Nelson when he realizes Nelson has nothing to lose but his will to murder, and John is the target. After an ensuing brawl, the guards set up a death match between the two.

However, John and Nelson secretly conspire and inject each other with a coma-inducing drug. The guards and prisoners believe that they are dead and bury the pair outside in the graveyard. Nelson uses Barry's love for him to his own advantage as he gives his recently released sweetheart access to his funds to bribe off the mortician to avoid an autopsy. Barry later digs the two up, freeing them. One year later, Barry and Nelson have entered a domestic partnership and set up a winery called "Baby Duck Winery" (composed of "toilet wine"), where a critic is about to fail their wine. John shows up and forces the critic to give them a good review. Nelson, Barry and John end the film by taking a drive, and listening to "Move This" by Technotronic.

During the end credits, Barry sings a song called "Shower With U" (credited as "Barry's Love Theme" on the soundtrack) in which he repeatedly sings "I wanna take a shower with you".