Plot
Captain Mainwaring is discussing with Sergeant Wilson how he would prefer to have much younger men in his platoon after Corporal Jones' section make a mockery of the days exercise. At that moment, Wilson presents Mainwaring with a letter from the war office which states that the oldest members of the Home Guard will be transferred to ARP and the younger, more fitter ARP Wardens will be transferred into the Home Guard.
Upon learning of this, Corporal Jones and Private Godfrey visit Private Frazer's funeral parlour and tell him that "If any of the platoon are going to be put in the ARP, it'll be us 3 cause we're the oldest." Frazer then agrees to perform a makeover on Jones and Godfrey, as well as himself, in order to make them look younger. In the meantime, Mainwaring worries that he too might be transferred into the ARP, so he buys himself a wig, much to the amusement of the Platoon. Chief Warden Hodges is also worried of being put into the Home Guard so he purchases some grey "hair dye" courtesy of Private Walker, which is actually white ceiling paint.
When Mainwaring learns of the drastic measures that Frazer, Jones & Godfrey have gone through in order to stay in the platoon, he does not approve, but states that "its too late to do anything about it now." After the inspection, in which none of the Home Guard members were selected to join the ARP, it begins to rain heavily, causing the makeup on the 3 soldiers faces to run.
Read more about this topic: Keep Young And Beautiful (Dad's Army Episode)
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“The plot was most interesting. It belonged to no particular age, people, or country, and was perhaps the more delightful on that account, as nobody’s previous information could afford the remotest glimmering of what would ever come of it.”
—Charles Dickens (1812–1870)