Haim Ginott - Communications Approach

Communications Approach

The following serve to illustrate Dr. Ginott's communications approach:

• Never deny or ignore a child's feelings.
• Only behavior is treated as unacceptable, not the child.
• Depersonalize negative interactions by mentioning only the problem. "I see a messy room."
• Attach rules to things, e.g., "Little sisters are not for hitting."
• Dependence breeds hostility. Let children do for themselves what they can.
• Children need to learn to choose, but within the safety of limits. "Would you like to wear this blue shirt or this red one?"
• Limit criticism to a specific event—don't say "never", "always", as in: "You never listen," "You always manage to spill things", etc.
• Refrain from using words that you would not want the child to repeat.

Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish were members of a parenting group run by Dr. Ginott, and state in an introduction that Dr. Ginott's classes were the inspiration for the books they wrote.