Cast
- Mike Myers as Guru Maurice Pitka / Young Pitka / Teenage Pitka / Himself
- Jessica Alba as Jane Bullard
- Justin Timberlake as Jacques "Le Coq" Grandé
- Romany Malco as Darren Roanoke
- Meagan Good as Prudence Roanoke
- Verne Troyer as Coach Punch Cherkov
- Omid Djalili as Guru Satchabigknoba / Gagandeep Singh
- Ben Kingsley as Guru Tugginmypudha
- Telma Hopkins as Lillian Roanoke
- Manu Narayan as Rajneesh, Pitka's assistant
- John Oliver as Dick Pants
- Stephen Colbert as Jay Kell
- Jim Gaffigan as Trent Lueders
- Rob Huebel as Bar Patron / Cameo
- Daniel Tosh as Cowboy Hat
- As themselves
- Mariska Hargitay
- Jessica Simpson
- Kanye West
- Val Kilmer (uncredited)
- Morgan Freeman (voice)
- Rob Blake
- Deepak Chopra
Read more about this topic: Guru Pitka
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—Friedrich Nietzsche (1844–1900)
“I would rather not see such winds subside, which carry your slow ship away, although they leave me, cast down, on an empty shore, often, with clenched hand, calling you cruel.”
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“Has he all that the world loves and admires and covets?—he must cast behind him their admiration, and afflict them by faithfulness to his truth, and become a byword and a hissing.”
—Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803–1882)