Grand Theft Auto: Vice City Stories Soundtrack - Commercials

Commercials

Like its predecessors, the radio of Vice City Stories provides a distinct array of commercials satirizing products as well as different aspects of 1980s culture. Many of these commercials contain significant amounts of expletives. Listed in Alphabetical order:

• Ammu-Nation (Ron Reeve) – Grand Theft Auto's famous gun chain is back with another commercial for "protecting your kids rights." This time it advertises a children-oriented Saturday safety seminar as well as potentially lethal ways to determine if a gun is loaded, and even comes with its own mascot, Derek the Dodo.
• Angel and the Knight – Takes on popular police/crime-fighting shows of the day with unlikely pairings and daredevil, physically impossible stunts (e.g. a helicopter that can dive underwater). It is heard in The Wave 103 commercial that Bonnie Knight gives a blowjob to some guy, which is Pedro, the drug lord from New World Order on VCPR, for information. Vice City, the game's predecessor, has this shows spin-off, Yuppie & The Alien.
• Athena 200's (Jay Wright) – A cigarette that "lasts longer than he does", the 200s referring to its extra length as compared to regular "100s." Possibly a parody of the female-oriented marketing of Virginia Slims. The slogan "The Pleasure is Back" used in this commercial also appeared in ads for Barclay cigarettes in the 1980s.This ad also air in VCFL and Espantoso.
• The Barfs – A spoof of Bratz or the Smurfs and the idea that they promote communism as well as gross-out cartoon specials of the day, and a very patriotic Saturday morning cartoon series. In sharp contrast to the values of the Smurfs, the Barfs "hate sharing" and each possess a firearm. One version of the commercial even lampoons the European (i.e. non-American) origin of the Smurfs as well as their values, referring to them as purple instead of blue. Each Barf is also a cultural stereotype representing the 1980s; the gimp suit-clad "Fruity Barf" ironically seem to be the most popular.
• Camus Jeans – A faux-philosophical jeans brand which seems to relate to cameltoe.
• Double Ought Logger – A new variant of a beer product originally aired in San Andreas, available here in a "shotgun can". This is a reference to the practise of making a second hole in the can so that the beer can more rapidly exit into a drinker's mouth.
• Evacuator (Brian Thomas, Randy Pearlstein) – Part 1 of a movie series whose second part "Exploder" premiered in the first Vice City game, and eventual finale "Special Needs Cop" premiered in San Andreas. Parodies trigger-happy patriotic action movies of the 1980s with muscle-bound heroes, such as Rambo and Commando. It also comes with its own action figure play set, though many figures and props are "sold separately", also a play on the merchandising of G.I. Joe action figures of the time, or possibly the short-lived Rambo toy line.
• Fast-Forward Audio (Alex Anthony) – Advertises in-car audio technology considered long-since obsolete today, as the "future". Has two different commercials, one for cassette tapes and one for radios with only a few channels of graphic equalization.
• Fruit LC – A parody of the original Apple Macintosh (also released in 1984) down to its exorbitant price tag (twice that of the original Mac), though the Macintosh LC was a real model released in 1990. The commercial particularly satirizes Ridley Scott's famous Super Bowl commercial.
• Imponte Insurrection Turbo XRZ5 X-2 – A car advertisement for a V8-powered front wheel drive "chick magnet." The confusingly long trim-line is a parody of the rear-wheel-drive Merkur XR4Ti, released about the same time, though a billboard for the car in Little Havana shows the car's shape is similar to that of a first-generation Mazda RX-7. This is the first advertisement for a car in-game that is not a Maibatsu, though this game is set in an era where Japanese cars had yet to dominate the market. This car could also be the Polaris V8.
• Jock Cranley – An anti-vice advertisement akin to the "Just Say No" campaign, with an eerily similar slogan: "Just say...not for me." In a twist, the campaign is sponsored by an organization called Consider Our Kids Everyday, continuing a GTA tradition of provocatively named morals organizations. Cranley is a high-flying and formerly decadent action star who is depicted on the VCS website as always wearing a helmet, much like Top Gear's Stig.
• Little Lacy Surprise – "Fashion underwear" for children, parodying the continuing trend of suggestive underwear for teenage girls. However, this commercial strongly implies pedophilia and even incest, something that panelist Bryony Craddock denounces on Pressing Issues. This also is a parody of Victoria Secret and Underoos. This ad airs in Flash FM and Espantoso.
• Mallet to a Maibatsu (Jonathan Hanst) – Rails against encroaching Japanese industry, particularly large family-owned Japanese automotive manufacturers (generalized as GTA's eponymous Maibatsu), with sob stories of employees laid off from the once-glorious "American Motors." These ads particularly reflect the labor troubles that shook up the American motor industry during the 1980s due to stiff competition from Japanese companies such as Honda and Toyota. There was a real car manufacturer named American Motors that was absorbed into Chrysler in the late 1980s due to labor troubles of its own, though similarities to the American Motors used as a model for American industry in general for this commercial might purely be coincidental. The logo for American Motors as seen on the instruction manual for the game is a red-white-and-blue torch, which is similar only to the real AMC's logo only in color scheme. The voice of the evil Japanese executive stereotype is similar to that of Dr. Chank from the Space Monkey VII commercial from Liberty City Stories.
• Push-Up – The Movie (Alex Anthony) – A clear parody of Rocky and other patriotic sports hero movies of the 1980s, based primarily on Sylvester Stallone's Rocky IV (released 1985) but featuring plot elements akin his other film, the 1987 Over the Top. The main Soviet villain is even a caricature of Rocky's famous opponent Ivan Drago.
• Release Gum – A commercial for chewing gum with special jelly filling, with references to oral sex.
• Redwood Junior – Candy cigarettes for kids, spoofing the implied subliminal marketing of tobacco products to underage customers prior to legislation, particularly the notorious Joe Camel. Redwood is a recurring cigarette brand from San Andreas, Liberty City Stories, and Grand Theft Auto IV.
• Robard's Import/Export (Peter Silvestro) – Run by the same implied-shady entrepreneur that released his dubious self-help tapes in the original Vice City. This time, the references to drugs are less subtle, as it is easy to deduce that his method of import/export is actually drug running by boat.
• Twilight Knife – A horror movie that seems to be related to Knife After Dark from the original Vice City and that parodies Friday the 13th Part 3 with the tagline "A New Dimension in Terror" and the narrator saying don't swim or shower alone which is the name of a scene from the movie(Friday the 13th).

Other brands such as Complete the Look, PetStuffers, and Synth & Son can be heard mentioned by radio hosts, and imaging voices during their blurbs.