Gay Bathhouse - Etiquette

Etiquette

Customers typically divide their time between the showers/saunas/jacuzzis and the main areas of the establishment. Customers who have rented rooms have free access to their room.

Customers who have rooms may leave their room doors open to signal that they are available for sex. An open door can also be an invitation for others to watch or join in sexual activity that is already occurring.

When a room is occupied only by a single person, some men will position themselves to suggest what they might like from someone joining them in the room: those who would like to be penetrated anally ("bottoms") will sometimes lie face down on the bed with the door open, while those who prefer to penetrate others ("tops") or to receive fellatio might lie face up.

In the past, the baths served as community spaces for gay men. Even now, some men choose to go to the baths with their friends (even though they may not necessarily have sex with each other). While many men talk to each other at the baths, even forming long-lasting friendships or relationships, many others do not, preferring, for various reasons, anonymity.

But I’ve been to a sauna recently in New Zealand, where everyone just chatted away, which I found very strange. Um, but you know, that’s because I guess it was a smaller city and people generally knew each other.

— "S Alfred", The Social Construction of Sexual Practice, (Richters 2006, PhD Thesis)

In this highly sexualized environment a look or nod is frequently enough to express interest. In darkened areas of the establishment including the mazes, video rooms, group sex areas, and the saunas or hot tubs (but not generally in the showers, toilets, hallways, gyms, café areas, and lounges), men are usually free to touch other patrons; it is expected and usually — but not always — welcomed. A shake of the head, or pushing away the other's hand, means that the attention is not welcomed.

I normally find people with groping don’t go away. You really have to as they grope your crotch area grab their hand and push it away and there have been times when I’ve had to do that three, two or three or four times before they actually get the message. There’s also been times when I actually just had to say to them to fuck off.

— "Richard", The Social Construction of Sexual Practice, (Richters 2006, PhD Thesis)

Some establishments allow or encourage sex in specific group sex areas. In some jurisdictions such activity is prohibited, and sex must be confined to private rooms. Some forbid sex in pools for hygiene reasons. In the United Kingdom, the requirement is often set by the local authority's Environmental Health department.