Reception
| Professional ratings | |
|---|---|
| Review scores | |
| Source | Rating |
| AllMusic | |
| Entertainment Weekly | C |
| Robert Christgau | |
| Rolling Stone | |
Reviews for the album are mixed. Rolling Stone's John Milward rated it two out of five stars, explaining that it "is so stuffed with zigzagging guitars and blustery vocals that it almost forgets to rock. Eddie Van Halen, who probably has more guitars than teeth, upends such a tackle box of hooks that they only start to surface after repeated listenings. Tasteful simplicity, which is never really simple at all, would have proved a better course to follow." He concluded that the guitars "are busier, the beats are heavier, and the fun is fleeting. Van Halen has chops to burn, but For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge, like its lumbering opening track and first single, 'Poundcake,' is stale."
A retrospective review by AllMusic's Stephen Thomas Erlewine was still mixed. He stated that the title "indicates the true nature of For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge Backing away from the diversity of OU812, the band turns in some of the most basic, straightforward rock & roll of its career." However, he also stated that it was "undeniable that limited vocal power had a great deal to do with the obvious nature of most of this music." He concluded that, even though the band continued to be tight and professional, the songwriting "is, by and large, undistinguished, with the anthemic 'Right Now' standing out as the most memorable song of the batch, mainly because of its incessant chorus."
Gina Arnold of Entertainment Weekly gave the album a C and said, "It would be nice to believe that the acronym formed by the title of Van Halen's new, top-charting album was intended as a covert blow against censorship in America. Unfortunately, it's far more likely that the punny name merely indicates VH's love of the kind of bathroom talk that third graders think is funny. For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge doesn't contain even one mind-numbingly catchy melody. Only 'Top of the World' and 'The Dream Is Over' come close to working up a truly fist-thrusting chorus, and the gist of the latter — 'dream another dream, this dream is over' — may well be advice that Van Halen and their fans ought to take to heart." In his Consumer Guide, Robert Christgau gave the album a "dud" rating.
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