Principles
Judith Martin states that if one wishes to become an accepted member of any society or group, one "had better learn to practice its etiquette."
Early North American etiquette books claimed that the manners and customs of the "Best Society" could be imitated by all, although some authors lamented that the lower classes, meaning those "whose experience in life has been a hardening process," in fact treated the rules of etiquette with "contempt and ... a sneer." Current etiquette books do not employ the concept of "best society," but rather define etiquette as a set of guidelines that "help steer our behavior as we move through our daily routines" and that can help deal with "the pressures of modern life make it all the more difficult to stay civil." This change is reflected in the content of etiquette books; etiquette books published in the early 20th century contained detailed advice on the treatment of servants, the conducting of formal dinner parties, and the behavior of a debutante; more modern books are likely to emphasize the importance of respecting people of all classes, races, and ethnic backgrounds. Some books make a further distinction between etiquette and manners:
Etiquette is protocol, rules of behavior that you memorize and that rarely bend to encompass individual concerns and needs. Manners embrace socially acceptable behavior, of course, but also much more than that. They are an expression of how you treat others when you care about them, their self-esteem, and their feelings.
Etiquette writers assert that etiquette rules, rather than being stuffy or classist, serve to make life more pleasant.
Though etiquette rules may seem arbitrary at times and in various situations, these are the very situations in which a common set of accepted customs can help to eliminate awkwardness. While etiquette is often a means to make others feel comfortable, it is also the case that etiquette can serve to eliminate inappropriate behaviors in others by increasing discomfort.
Read more about this topic: Etiquette In North America
Famous quotes containing the word principles:
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—Robert Benchley (1889–1945)
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