Emotionally Focused Therapy - Basic Principles

Basic Principles

1. Relationships are attachment bonds. Effective therapy should address the security of the bond, accessibility and responsiveness of each partner.

2. Change involves a new experience of the self, new experience of the other and new relationship events

3. Rigid interaction patterns create and reflect absorbing emotional states. It's systemic.

4. Emotion is the target and agent of change

5. The therapist is a process consultant

6. Partners are viewed as coping as optimally as they can given their current circumstances i.e. non-pathologizing. Partners are not sick/unskilled, they are only stuck in habitual ways of dealing with emotions

One premise of EFT is that emotions bring the past alive. The past validates present day fears, blocks and styles of relating, which then fuels conflict. If there is to be long-lasting change, emotions are engaged and activated in the creation of new relationship events.

Another premise is that attachment is maintained by perceived responsiveness and accessibility and by emotional engagement and contact. When those are uncertain, attachment becomes insecure and then follows protest, clinging, depression or despair and detachment. These become stuck in rigid patterns or negative interaction cycles until the underlying need for secure attachment is addressed.

The interactions of distressed couples are characterized by negative cycles where, for example, one partner pursues while the other withdraws. The therapist helps the couples go to the underlying emotions that keep them stuck in those rigid positions and negative interaction cycles.

Using the notion of transforming emotion with emotion, the EFT therapist guides each partner to expressing emotions that pull for compassion and connection. EFT promotes soothing and helps clients deal with unstated and therefore unmet attachment needs.

Emotion regulation is involved in three major motivational systems central to couples therapy – styles of attachment, identity or working models of self and other, and attraction. These are elaborated below.