Discworld Characters - Marietta Cosmopilite

Marietta Cosmopilite

Mrs Marietta Cosmopilite is a dressmaker, who appears in Moving Pictures as Vice President of Costuming and Theda Withel's landlady. Earlier in the book she is mentioned as being capable of believing the Disc is under threat from inhuman monsters, since she already believes that the world is round, it does you good to have a laugh, and that three dwarfs look in on her undressing. She is right about the inhuman monsters and the dwarfs (although she is never told about the first one and the second is "only by coincidence"). She is noted as having (appropriate to her name) what would be seen as a contemporary view of the world. Theda claims Mrs. Cosmopilite wouldn't mind Victor Tugelbend coming with her up to her room—assuming they would be going up for sex (this might be a reasonable assumption for our modern times, but in the story, they had a different reason).

She is briefly mentioned in Witches Abroad as being venerated by some younger Ramtops monks who, on the basis that wisdom seems wiser if it comes from further away, trek down to Ankh-Morpork to hear her wisdom. This is usually "bugger off" or something similar, but since the monks don't speak Morporkian, it doesn't matter much. In Thief of Time it turns out that this was started by Lu-Tze, who spent some time lodging with her, and has a much better understanding of the Way of Mrs Cosmopilite than the monks who followed; he wrote down many of her sayings as guides by which to live his life. Most have double meanings, serving as both stereotypical utterances of a grouchy older working class woman, and equally stereotypical pieces of oriental wisdom. The most notable is perhaps "I wasn't born yesterday" which, as Lu Tze points out, resembles one of the key revelations of Wen the Eternally Surprised, who, in reference to the continually destroyed and renewed nature of the universe, and the constancy of revelation, said "Yesterday, I was not born".

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