Customs and Etiquette in Hawaii - Visits and Gifts

Visits and Gifts

When visiting a home, it is considered good manners to bring a small gift (for example, a dessert) for one's host. Thus, parties are usually in the form of potlucks.

Most locals take their shoes off before entering a home, with haole (caucasian) residents being the occasional exception. A shoe rack on the porch or footwear left outside a doorway of a residence indicate that shoes should be removed.

The offering of food is related to the gift-giving culture. The pidgin phrases "Make plate" or "Take plate" are common in gatherings of friends or family that follow a potluck format. It is considered good manners to "make plate", literally making a plate of food from the available spread to take home, or "take plate", literally taking a plate the host of the party (or the aunties running the kitchen) has made of the available spread for easy left-overs. It is gracious to take the plate, or make a small plate, even if you don't intend to eat it. In part, this tradition is related to clean-up, being a good guest by not leaving the mass of left-overs at the party-throwers house and making them alone responsible for clean up. In more recent times, this has also evolved into donating your left-overs to the homeless population, especially if you're having a get-together at a public park or similar location, as it is likely there is a homeless population living nearby as well.

It is considered thoughtful to bring back gifts from a trip for friends and family. Some people use the Japanese name for such gifts, omiyage. Others use the Hawaiian word, "makana" or the Samoan term "oso." Gifts of special foods unavailable outside the region visited are particularly appropriate. For example, Krispy Kreme is not available on the island of Oahu (a location on Maui opened recently), and many people, when going to Maui or, very commonly, Las Vegas, bring back a box or two for their family members to show respect. Conversely, locals traveling abroad will take foods from Hawai'i to friends/relatives where local foods are unavailable.

If someone has given you gift items or has done a service for you (helping with a lu'au, family gatherings) without asking for repayment, it is always wise and of good upbringing to at least give them something in return or offer them money. When it comes to money in particular, people play "hot potato" and refuse to accept the money. However, the main idea is that you at least offer. Many locals don't always like to feel as if they're taking and will always return the favor of giving with giving. When someone outright refuses to accept your donation, some locals will make it a personal challenge to make sure this person is repaid by slyly hiding the money in the other person's belongings and making sure they are out of sight as to not be given anything back. In that case, it is best just to keep the form of repayment and be sure to do something special for the person the next time you see them.