Rhyming Slang
"Chalfonts" is one of many variations of Cockney rhyming slang for piles, this is derived from Chalfont St Giles but, as is typical with Cockney rhyming slang, the part of the phrase which rhymes with the derivative is omitted. There is a Viz comic strip named Nobby's Piles in which the protagonist, Nobby, uses a range of slang expressions when referring to his haemorrhoids including "Ooh, me chalfonts!"
Read more about this topic: Chalfont St Giles
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