Catbert - Characteristics

Characteristics

With the help of his "random policy generator", he comes up with sadistic, illogical, and often evil policies to enforce on the employees, such as permanently branding employees, requiring employees to schedule sick time before they actually get sick, replacing the health plan with Google, and making time spent in the bathroom count as "vacation." He also has the help of his "Life Suck 3000" (to suck the life force out of employees faster than normal), and his library of HR binders that give strategies on downsizing and hiring of morons specifically. He often works in tandem with the Pointy-Haired Boss, though on occasion he even harasses him with his policies. Catbert typically celebrates the creation of a new evil policy by purring loudly, hugging himself, doing the "evil dance" or by occasionally laughing himself fuzzy.

He often abuses workers by doing things like sending Wally home for wearing shorts, even though Wally's pants reach his ankles. He also claws up employees, once batted Dilbert's head off, hid Asok the intern in his litter box, and pulled some strings to get Wally moved to a window cubicle (so as to use Wally's head as a bed to lay on while warming himself in the sun's rays).

Catbert's more cat-like traits include use of the litter box, purring, and lying on warm or sun-heated surfaces.

Some of his own strategies have been known to backfire on him, like the August 2007 strips involving making the employees wear brain monitoring helmets when he felt they were thinking about pleasant stuff and not work. Wally, naturally, was the first one whose helmet went off, and as Catbert was going over what he was thinking about, he went metaphorically "blind" over one of his thoughts, and possibly had the same thought as the Pointy-haired boss ("I was happier not knowing.") afterwards.

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