Camille (Red Dwarf) - Plot

Plot

Lister's lessons in lying, cheating and all-round rebellion initially seem to be having an effect on Kryten, but Kryten is unable to repeat the lie in the presence of others (in the form of the Cat). The lessons are cut short when Kryten obediently takes Rimmer asteroid-spotting in Starbug. When they receive a distress call from a doomed ship Lister's insubordination training allows Kryten to go and search for survivors despite Rimmer's order to keep a safe distance away. On the ship he finds Camille, who appears to be a female counterpart of Kryten. It is "advanced mutual compatibility at first sight".

Kryten and Camille board Starbug and make their way back to Red Dwarf. When Rimmer sees Camille he doesn't see her as a mechanoid but as a female hologram. Lister sees her as the last human female alive. When Rimmer asks Camille, in Lister's presence, if she would like him to talk her through his collection of photographs of twentieth-century telegraph poles he seems to get a different answer from what Lister hears. This makes Lister suspicious so he questions Camille about it and she concedes "that they would have found out eventually". She's a pleasure GELF - a Genetically Engineered Life Form - who appears to each individual as the object of their desire.

When the Cat hears about this he goes to see Camille and finds that his perfect companion is none other than himself. Initially Kryten is hurt, but after Camille reveals that she's actually a slimy green blob with tentacles, he then thinks they can make a go of it. But when Camille's husband Hector turns up, Kryten uses all Lister's teachings, plus plenty of inspiration from the movie Casablanca, and tells her she'll regret it if she stays, then stoically waves goodbye. Lister notes that Kryten lied in order to get her to leave, and Kryten confirms this and tells Lister, that as he's responsible for all this, he's "a total smeghead". Lister couldn't be happier that Kryten's able to insult him, and the two walk off as Lister notes that this could be the start of a beautiful friendship...