Bum Phillips - Quotes

Quotes

• "There's two kinds of coaches, them that's fired and them that's gonna be fired."
• "I always thought I could coach. I just thought people were poor judges of good coaches."
• "I've never seen a hammer and tong game like that one."
• "Mama always said that if it can't rain on you, you're indoors." (Explaining why he wouldn't wear his cowboy hat in a domed stadium)
• "Dallas Cowboys may be America's team, but the Houston Oilers are Texas' team."
• "I never scrimmage Oilers against Oilers...what for? Houston isn't on our schedule." (Source: The Book of Sports Lists)
• (To an official) "Hey, can I, can I tell you one thing? That's three holding penalties on one football team in a quarter and a half. (Pauses) That ain't funny."
• (To an official) "Now, you can't do that! If you do it, I'm telling you you'll have more hell over it than a little bit."
• (referring to Alabama head coach Paul "Bear" Bryant, with whom Phillips worked as an assistant coach at Texas A&M) "He can take his'n and beat your'n and take your'n and beat his'n."
• (referring to Houston Oilers quarterback Warren Moon) "That boy could throw a football through a car wash and not get it wet."
• (when asked about Oilers RB Earl Campbell's inability to finish a 1 mile run in training camp) "When it's first and a mile, I won't give it to him."
• (when asked by Bob Costas why he took his wife on all of the Oilers' road trips) "Because she's too ugly to kiss goodbye."
• "Last year we knocked on the door. This year we beat on it. Next year we're going to kick the son of a bitch in."
• of Earl Campbell, "I don't know if he's in a class by himself, but whatever class he's in, it don't take long to call the roll."