Plot
After being attacked by an octopus at the aquarium, Peter decides to become physically fit. After spending a mere fifteen minutes at the gym, Peter believes he is now fit, so when former U.S. President Bill Clinton's car breaks down outside their house, he attempts to lift it without a jack, which results in him getting a sudden severe hernia and being hospitalized. Depressed at the concept of becoming old, he confides in Clinton, who tells him age is a state of mind. When Peter recovers, Bill takes him out to help him realize he can still have fun. They become best friends and spend a lot of time together, but things eventually get out of hand when they start smoking marijuana and cause mischief while high on it.
Lois now believes that Bill is a bad influence on Peter. Lois goes to discuss with Bill the bad effect he is having on Peter, but ends up having sex with him. Devastated about the incident, Peter leaves Lois and stays at Quagmire's house. Lois is wracked with guilt and visits him, telling him that the only way to mend their relationship is if Peter sleeps with someone else. Though uncertain that it will work, Peter chooses to sleep with Barbara Pewterschmidt, Lois' mother. Barbara turns out to be more than willing, but Peter bails out at the last moment and tells Lois that he refuses to sleep with anyone else and they forgive each other. After going to tell Bill they cannot be friends anymore, Peter too is enticed into sleeping with Bill (inadvertently getting even with Lois).
Meanwhile, Lois is fed up with stepping in Brian's feces in the lawn and forces him through toilet training himself. Brian and Stewie attempt to learn how to use the toilet, but fail. They buy a toilet training video narrated by Roy Scheider, which nearly traumatizes them. Lois forces Brian to wear Stewie's diapers to prevent him from defecating in the garden; after that, she leaves Brian alone to deal with Peter for the duration of the story. During the end credits, Brian pretends to be using the toilet as not to be told off by Lois, and begins to leave his feces at Mayor Adam West's house, which he believes is sausage that he planted in the ground.
Read more about this topic: Bill & Peter's Bogus Journey
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“If you need a certain vitality you can only supply it yourself, or there comes a point, anyway, when no one’s actions but your own seem dramatically convincing and justifiable in the plot that the number of your days concocts.”
—John Ashbery (b. 1927)