Famous quotes containing the word avon:
“A favorite of outdoor alcoholics, connoisseurs and Fundamentalists, these pills turn water into wine. In 10 minutes the most fetid swamp scum in the forest can become modest red, elusive and light on first taste, yet playful—one might say a trifle impudent—on the afterbite. Saves pack space by eliminating need for bulky corkscrew, decanter and bottles. Store pills on their sides in a cool dark place.”
—Alfred Gingold, U.S. humorist. Items From Our Catalogue, “Wine Pills,” Avon Books (1982)
“Firm-style bean curd insoles cushion feet, absorb perspiration and provide more protein than meat or fish innersoles of twice the weight. Tofu compresses with use, becoming more pungent and flavorful. May be removed when not in use to dry or marinate. Innersoles are ready to eat after 1,200 miles of wear. Each pair provides adult protein requirement for 2 meals. Insoles are sized large to allow for snacks. Recipe booklet included.”
—Alfred Gingold, U.S. humorist. Items From Our Catalogue, “Tofu Innersoles,” Avon Books (1982)
“Well designed, fully functional infant. Provides someone to live for as well as another mouth to feed. Produces cooing, gurgling and other adorable sounds. May cause similar behavior in nearby adults. Cries when hungry, sleepy or just because. Hand Wash with warm water and mild soap, then pat dry with soft cloth and talc. Internal mechanisms are self-cleaning... Two Genders: Male. Female. Five Colors: White. Black. Yellow. Red. Camouflage.”
—Alfred Gingold, U.S. humorist. Items From Our Catalogue, “Baby,” Avon Books (1982)