Examples
- A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman find a wizard on the top of a tall cliff. The wizard orders them to jump off the cliff, but he also promises that if they say anything while falling, they will get it at the bottom of the cliff. So first, the Englishman jumps off the cliff and shouts, "Pillows!" and so he lands on some pillows. Then the Scotsman jumps off the cliff, and he shouts, "Hay!" and so he lands on some hay. Finally the Irishman runs to jump off the cliff, but he trips on a rock just before the jump and says, "Aw, crap!"(In another version of the joke, the Scotsman says wee)
- A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman were discussing the infidelity of their wives. "I think my wife is having an affair with an electrician", said the Englishman, "because I found an electrician's toolbox under her bed last night." "I think my wife is having an affair with a plumber", said the Scotsman, "because last night I found a plunger under her bed". "I think my wife is having an affair with a horse", said the Irishman, "because last night I found a jockey under her bed."
- An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are sitting in a bar. Suddenly, a fly dives into each of their beers. The Englishman says, "Barman, a fly just dived into my beer. Bring me another one." The Englishman got another beer. The Irishman says, "Ah, to hell with it," and empties his pint, fly and all. The Scotsman pulls the fly out of his beer, shakes it up and down, and screams, "Spit it oot, damn you! Spit it oot!" (This time playing on the stereotypical Scottish thriftiness.)
- An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender turns to them, takes one look, and says, "What is this - some kind of joke?"
- An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are on a train. The Englishman sticks his head out of the window and sees a tunnel. Look out he roars to the Irishman and the Scotsman. The Irishman pokes his head out the window.
Read more about this topic: An Englishman, An Irishman And A Scotsman
Famous quotes containing the word examples:
“In the examples that I here bring in of what I have [read], heard, done or said, I have refrained from daring to alter even the smallest and most indifferent circumstances. My conscience falsifies not an iota; for my knowledge I cannot answer.”
—Michel de Montaigne (1533–1592)
“It is hardly to be believed how spiritual reflections when mixed with a little physics can hold people’s attention and give them a livelier idea of God than do the often ill-applied examples of his wrath.”
—G.C. (Georg Christoph)
“Histories are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of friends.”
—Alexander Pope (1688–1744)