Miss Adventure Ridin' The West
Weekly World News Issue: June 13, 2005
Tagline: "They call me Kitten Caboodle"
Just as Basic Black Bart's henchmen were about to introduce Miss Adventure to what he suspected was not autoerotic asphyxiation, Danny "Dee Dee" Romano showed up. Dee Dee happened to see Andrews with the rope around his neck and roused the town marshal, and they rode to his rescue. Marshal Fields shot through the rope just in time, though the henchmen escaped just before they could be caught. The day after the attempted lynching, Basic Black Bart's right-hand man, a "handsome brute" called Aces High, visited Andrews in his bed.
Circumstances demanded another of Miss Adventure's fabulous disguises. The following night, Kevin Andrews dressed as a gorgeous dance hall girl, resplendent in pink ruffles and feathers, and sashayed into the Really Long Branch looking for work. Posing as "Kitten Caboodle", Bart hired her on the spot. For the rest of the week he performed nightly at the saloon while trying to gather evidence against Bart. Andrews was a smash singing songs, but was less successful getting the evidence he needed. Miss Adventure came up with a deeper ploy. He purposely hinted that Kitten Caboodle was Miss Adventure in order to lure Bart from the saloon. Then, while Bart was away Spin, Marty, and Dee Dee would simply switched the damaged stove for the saloon's new one.
The plan worked and Bart caught Miss Adventure changing clothes. Basic Black Bart drew his gun and was about to shoot Andrews when Aces High burst into the room, felled Bart with one blow, and turned him over to Marshal Fields. The following day, Dee Dee and Andrews packed to return home to Teaneck, New Jersey. Before leaving, Miss Adventure visited the jail and dropped off Kitten's outfit.
Read more about this topic: Miss Adventure, World's Favorite Gay Hero!
Famous quotes containing the words adventure and/or west:
“Wilson adventured for the whole of the human race. Not as a servant, but as a champion. So pure was this motive, so unflecked with anything that his worst enemies could find, except the mildest and most excusable, a personal vanity, practically the minimum to be human, that in a sense his adventure is that of humanity itself. In Wilson, the whole of mankind breaks camp, sets out from home and wrestles with the universe and its gods.”
—William Bolitho (1890–1930)
“I see my light come shining
From the west unto the east
Any day now, any day now,
I shall be released.”
—Bob Dylan [Robert Allen Zimmerman] (b. 1941)