Hooked On Monkey Fonics - Plot

Plot

In preparation for a spelling bee, Cartman's mother buys him a "Hooked on Monkey Fonics" system. While at the spelling bee, the children face stiff competition from two homeschooled children, Rebecca and Mark Cotswalds. Cartman asks the monkey to help him spell his word, chair, but instead the monkey starts to masturbate, and Cartman misspells it as C-H-A-R-E. In the final round, Kyle is unable to spell his word, "Krocsyldiphithic" (which in reality isn't an actual word), correctly and Rebecca and Mark are declared the champions. Although Kyle is annoyed at having been beaten, he ends up developing a crush on Rebecca.

Mark becomes intrigued by the interactions he sees between Cartman, Kyle, and Stan, and begs his father to be allowed to attend public school. His father objects but relents. At the school, Mark, placed in a protective plastic bubble by his overpossesive father, is tormented for his haughty attitude and superior knowledge, and ends up duct taped to a bench. This prompts Mark's father to speak with the adults in the bar about the incident. The adults are quick to dislike him as much as the kids dislike Mark, and they proceed to duct tape Mark's father to one of the bar's benches.

After questioning Mark about why he has never been seen before and why he does not attend school like the other children, Cartman is introduced to the concept of home schooling. The idea of never having to go to school appeals to him greatly, and, using Mr. Garrison's condescending remarks towards him as an excuse, demands to be home schooled himself. To him, this involves a regimen of sleeping in and sitting in bed while snacking and watching television, while his mother unsuccessfully attempts to get him to study. When Stan and Kenny come to visit, Phonics Monkey kills Kenny.

Meanwhile, Kyle makes many efforts to make his feelings known to Rebecca, although several end up humorously unsuccessful. Ultimately he convinces her to explore the world of public schooling, and she agrees to go to the South Park Bay of Pigs Memorial Dance with him. He also explains what love is to her and, out of curiosity, she asks Kyle if she can experiment a kiss with him, to which he agrees.

At the dance, the band Dio plays its song "Holy Diver", later with the Phonics Monkey joining in on drums. The boys of the school hatch a plan to duct tape Mark to the flagpole while the adults also hatch a similar plan for Mark's father. When Rebecca enters the dance dressed up promiscuously kissing every boy in sight, Mark is outraged and attacks Kyle for doing this to his sister. The other boys perceive this as cool and finally accept him. Rebecca and Mark earn the opportunity to regularly attend public school from their parents. Mark's father, however, is still duct taped to the flagpole by the adults, regardless of his change in attitude and opinion. Rebecca and Kyle then share a kiss.