Plot
The Romans have invaded Britain. An army led by Mark Antony (Sid James), slogging through wet and miserable weather, attacks a village (where the inhabitants still wear skins and live in caves) and capture some people as slaves. They include a maker of square wheels Hengist Pod (Kenneth Connor) and the fearless warrior Horsa (Jim Dale), among others.
They are taken to Rome, bought by the trader Spencius (of Marcus and Spencius) and auctioned off. No-one wants Hengist and he's marked down as lion-fodder. When an attempt is made to kill Julius Caesar (Kenneth Williams) at a Roman temple, Horsa fights and kills Caesar's enemies, but Hengist gets all the credit, and is made Caesar's bodyguard.
Meanwhile, Mark Antony, Caesar's best friend, is sent to Egypt to negotiate an alliance, but becomes besotted with the Egyptian Queen Cleopatra (Amanda Barrie). The only way to achieve his heart's desire is to kill Caesar (and Hengist).
The plan to kill Caesar and Hengist ends up being unsuccessful. Hengist, Horsa and all of their fellow British countrymen escape, capture a galley and make it back to Britain.
Read more about this topic: Carry On Cleo
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“If you need a certain vitality you can only supply it yourself, or there comes a point, anyway, when no one’s actions but your own seem dramatically convincing and justifiable in the plot that the number of your days concocts.”
—John Ashbery (b. 1927)
“Ends in themselves, my letters plot no change;
They carry nothing dutiable; they won’t
Aspire, astound, establish or estrange.”
—Philip Larkin (1922–1986)
“Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.”
—Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835–1910)