Plot
Thornton Melon is a rags-to-riches story. The son of an Italian immigrant tailor, he is shown as a boy (Jason Hervey) in his father's shop, bearing a report card with poor grades. His ambition is to go into his father's line of work, but his father reprimands Thornton for his poor schoolwork, and tells him "if a man's got no education, he's got nothing."
As decades pass, Thornton is shown opening his first "Tall and Fat" clothing store and eventually becoming a corporate giant, complete with a TV commercial in which he asks: "Are you fat? Do you look at a menu and say, 'Okay'? When you go jogging, do you leave potholes?" He also has changed his last name to "Melon" (from the original "Meloni").
After his college-student son Jason cancels a visit, Thornton goes home to Vanessa, his second wife. Thornton is a widower and Vanessa is a money-hungry, aspiring socialite, unable to bear her crude husband. He threatens to expose her adulterous affairs after she threatens to sue him for divorce.
Thornton tells his friend, chauffeur and bodyguard Lou to drive him to Jason's college. It turns out Jason has been keeping secrets from his father. He is not on the Grand Lakes diving team but instead works as a towel boy, treated badly by star diver Chas Osborn. Jason has only his best friend Derek for support and intends to drop out. Thornton pleads with him, offering to go to college with his son if he'll stay, and also tells Jason that he has no reason to be ashamed of his failures, considering Thornton's early mediocre life.
Possessing neither a high school diploma nor any transcripts or SAT scores, Thornton’s efforts seem to be stalled. But when the university's "Dean" Martin -– a play on Dean Martin -– asks how he can possibly admit an unqualified student, the next scene cuts to a groundbreaking of the university's new Thornton Melon School of Business.
Thornton's bribery earns him the wrath of Dr. Philip Barbay, dean of the business school. The wrath is further exacerbated when Dr. Barbay's ivory tower ways are at odds with Thornton's knowledge of business gained from actual experience. Thornton promptly strikes up a romance with Dr. Diane Turner, an attractive literature professor who is dating Dr. Barbay.
At the same time, Jason begins to attract the interest of Valerie Desmond, a girl that Chas has been trying to impress. Jason's popularity on campus also increases thanks to his father’s generosity and party-throwing. Jason even earns a spot on the diving team as well after Thornton—who claims to have once been a spectacular diver himself—talks the Grand Lakes coach into giving the kid another look.
As a student, even though Diane is inspiring a deeper appreciation of literature, Thornton prefers partying to studying. He hires a team of professionals to complete his assignments, including author Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. Thornton’s fraud is exposed by Dr. Barbay, who challenges him before Dean Martin to pass an oral examination from all of his professors. If Thornton fails any part of it, he will be expelled.
With limited time to prepare, Thornton crams for exams with help from Jason, Derek, Lou and Diane. When the big day comes, Barbay begins by telling Thornton that he has only one question, "...in 27 parts." Thornton passes, nevertheless, after Dr. Turner inspires him with Dylan Thomas' poem "Do not go gentle into that good night".
At the championship swim meet, a little distraction from Derek fouls up the opposing team’s dives. Chas gives a lackluster dive, followed by a near-perfect performance from Jason. Chas fakes a cramp out of spite in an effort to make the team lose. This gives the coach an inspiration. He calls upon Thornton, who comes out of the grandstand to perform an “impossible” dive, the legendary “Triple Lindy", to win the meet.
Thornton learns that he has passed all his classes with a D, except from Diane, who has given him an A. The movie closes with Thornton lecturing the graduating class that the real world is hard, so: "Move back in with your parents... let them worry about it!"
Read more about this topic: Back To School
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