Ancient Order of Turtles - Qualifying Questions

Qualifying Questions

A large part of the tradition of the order involves the qualifying questions that prospective members have to answer. These fun questions are actually small riddles: Each of them suggests a vulgar or lewd answer, however the candidate has to provide a completely innocuous answer to the same question.

A popular example would be the question:

What does a woman do sitting down, that a dog does on three legs, and a man does standing up?

The obvious answer to this question would be "pee" or "urinate", but the correct answer to is "shake hands" (as western etiquette demands that a man needs to rise from his seat to shake hands, while a woman needs not).

  • What does a cow have four of and woman only two?
  • What is a four letter word ending in K that means to have intercourse?
  • What is it on a man that is round, hard, and sticks so far out his pajamas that you can hang a hat on it?

A candidate must answer four from a list of twenty-five of such questions. While there is a traditional set of questions, some modern clubs also make up new initiation questions along the same lines.

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