Ancient Order of Turtles

Ancient Order Of Turtles

The Ancient and Honorable Order of Turtles ("International Association of Turtles", "Turtle Club", or similar title) started as an informal "drinking club" between World War II pilots, self-described as "an honorable drinking fraternity composed of ladies and gentlemen of the highest morals and good character, who are never vulgar."

To gain admission, one must answer four from a list of about twenty-five qualifying questions. Each question suggests a vulgar, lewd, or salacious answer, but the actual correct answer is rather innocuous. Once inducted, a member must reply to the question, "Are you a turtle?" with "You bet your sweet ass I am". Otherwise, the member must buy the questioner a drink. It is assumed that all prospective turtles own a diabetic donkey, or one of a sweet and kindly disposition, which is the reason for this password. If the member is unable or unwilling (perhaps because of the restriction on vulgarity) to provide the correct answer, he or she owes to each other turtle present a drink of the recipient's choice.

The Supreme Imperial Turtle (Emeritus) of the "Ancient and Honorable Order of Turtles", Denis P. McGowan, says that his father was one of the originators of the tradition. Other groups claim an earlier origin, but none have provided believable documentation.