Plot
While attempting to make Peter brush his teeth, Lois hears a noise from downstairs and discovers burglars have entered the house. The rest of the family awakens and flee to Peter's self-built panic room and begin to monitor what the robbers are doing through hidden cameras. Due to the room not having a telephone or an inside door handle, Peter begins to tell stories about the history of the Griffin family.
The stories begin with the big bang, and then moves to the Paleolithic Age, where it is revealed that Peter's ancestor invented the wheel. The second story sees another Moses as a member of the Griffin family during the Bronze Age leading the Israelites to freedom. The family soon discovers that Meg can fit through the vent, so they force Meg through the vent and into the kitchen. Peter uses a loud speaker to contact Meg from the panic room, therefore alerting the burglars that somebody is in the kitchen. In order to take the family's mind off Meg being captured, Peter tells the story of Nate Griffin. Nate lived in the small village of Quahogsuana, but was captured by a white version of Cleveland Brown from South Carolina and taken to America. He, along with Quagdingo and Joe Mama, prank the ship captain. While sleeping, they push his bed in to the ocean. Nate is caught after briefly escaping and forced to work on a plantation. He falls in love with the owner's daughter, Lois's relatives, and together, they bring up a secret family. After being discovered by his lover's father, the couple and their children escape, where Nate sets up the Department of Motor Vehicles to "get back at the white man".
After finishing the story, Peter carelessly aims a flare gun through an air vent, causing the sprinklers to come on. Meanwhile Meg is trying to persuade the burglars to rape her but they are not interested. The rest of the family, still trapped in the panic room, are preparing to potentially drown from the sprinklers filling the room up with water. Peter tells the story of his ancestor, Willie "Black-Eye" Griffin, who was a silent film star in the 1920s, but whose career later faltered due to his voice, much like Bobcat Goldthwait's, not being cut out for talking pictures. Peter then tells his family about his great uncle, Peter Hitler, who was able to provide Adolf Hitler with success at his Munich speech, although annoying Adolf greatly. As the water from the sprinklers almost reaches its peak, Peter admits to the family that he did not care for The Godfather and a heated debate ensues, ending with Peter declaring his love for The Money Pit. At the last minute Joe rescues them, draining the water out of the room, thus saving their lives. Joe informs the family he has arrested the burglars, but they are pressing sexual harassment charges against Meg. Joe warns that they will need a lawyer to combat the charges, but the family ignores him, and Joe finally gives up and takes Meg away.
Read more about this topic: Untitled Griffin Family History
Famous quotes containing the word plot:
“Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot.”
—Mark Twain [Samuel Langhorne Clemens] (1835–1910)
“But, when to Sin our byast Nature leans,
The careful Devil is still at hand with means;
And providently Pimps for ill desires:
The Good Old Cause, reviv’d, a Plot requires,
Plots, true or false, are necessary things,
To raise up Common-wealths and ruine Kings.”
—John Dryden (1631–1700)
“If you need a certain vitality you can only supply it yourself, or there comes a point, anyway, when no one’s actions but your own seem dramatically convincing and justifiable in the plot that the number of your days concocts.”
—John Ashbery (b. 1927)