Two and A Half Men (season 1) - List of Episodes

Carefree bachelor Charlie Harper (Charlie Sheen)'s life is turned upside down when his divorced brother Alan (Jon Cryer) and nephew Jake (Angus T. Jones) move in with him. After returning from a meal trying in which he failed to reconcile with his wife, Judith (Marin Hinkle), Alan also finds Charlie unable to be a responsible carer towards Jake after he makes him play poker and moves in with his mother, Evelyn (Holland Taylor). But after Alan finds that Jake likes Charlie more, he decides to move back in with him and stay there. Meanwhile, one of Charlie's one-night stands named Rose (Melanie Lynskey) is stalking him. Alan lets her into the house thinking that she is Charlie's housekeeper and she glues all his cabinets shut.

First appearance of: Charlie Harper, Alan Harper, Jake Harper, Judith, Rose and Evelyn Harper

When Jake starts feeding the seagulls after Charlie warns him not to (who is afraid of seagulls), they end up gathering all over Jake's room- causing Jake and Charlie to fall out. This gives Charlie an idea of what parenting can be like. Meanwhile, Alan tries to win Judith back by repeatedly going over to her house to fix things; after Alan snaps and tells her that he had enough and that she is free, the two end up sharing a kiss, but Alan eventually tells Judith that the marriage is over.

Absent: Melanie Lynskey as Rose and Holland Taylor as Evelyn Harper

Jake brings his pet guinea pig to Charlie's house. Jake becomes ill and wants to go back to his mother's, which upsets Alan. To make matters worse, the guinea pig suddenly dies. Alan is afraid that if he tells Jake about this, Jake will never love him again. He gets depressed and has a drink with Charlie. After their drink they confront their mom for making them that way, but chicken out. It is later revealed that their drunken cab journey home was taped and put on a TV show.

Berta (Conchata Ferrell), refuses to housekeep for both Alan and Jake, which causes her to quit, which makes Alan Charlie's new housekeeper, but he does a job far worse than Berta used to. Alan is tired of Charlie's misbehavior and tries to make peace with Berta by finding her and attempting to bring her back. Meanwhile, Charlie tries to make Rose and Jake listen to him as he has to get Jake ready for his mother who is coming to pick him up – but Jake is more interested in fixing his bike's chain.

First Appearance of: Berta Absent: Holland Taylor as Evelyn Harper

After spending a wild night in Las Vegas, Charlie decides to live up to his promise that he made to Jake about attending his soccer game. During the game, Charlie hits it off with an unattached soccer mom named Kate. Alan sets up a meeting with Gloria (one of the soccer moms) to write a soccer newsletter, but Gloria has other intentions for the evening, unrelated to soccer.

Absent: Marin Hinkle as Judith Harper, Melanie Lynskey as Rose, and Holland Taylor as Evelyn Harper

Charlie has dated the daughter of Evelyn's new boyfriend, and tries to get out. Evelyn's boyfriend discovers this and dumps her, but not because of what happened with Charlie and his daughter, but he left her for another woman. This makes her depressed and she doesn't leave Charlie and Alan alone – spending hours performing songs in front of them and Jake in the living room. Charlie finally fixes this with a long and deep conversation.

Absent: Marin Hinkle as Judith Harper and Melanie Lynskey as Rose

Judith gets worried when Jake draws the tattooed buttocks of a female surfer friend of Charlie's, who walks around his place half naked, and Charlie only wants to sleep with her (as she only goes to his place to shower after surfing) Alan feels concern for Judith when she befriends the surfer girl. Jake begins to learn from Charlie about fake and real boobs and doesn't stop comparing them both.

Absent: Holland Taylor as Evelyn Harper

Alan tricks Charlie into joining him and Judith in leading Jake and his classmates in the school's annual music show, which Charlie does not enjoy. Meanwhile, Alan discovers that Judith has filed for a divorce and is not happy. When he and Judith talk about the divorce, Charlie takes over the play; he soon enjoys the ride when the children learn he is the writer who wrote their favorite jingles. So, the children choose his songs out of Alan and Judith's and he turns the show into a disaster.

Absent: Melanie Lynskey as Rose and Holland Taylor as Evelyn Harper

Charlie wants to dump a female friend that Jake has grown close to, while Alan and Rose bond over a game of Scrabble. It is revealed that Rose bonded with Alan to get closer to Charlie. Jake gets mad at Charlie for letting his girlfriend dump her. It was revealed that she was being polite and because she has grown close to Jake, but Charlie thought she was just trying to trick everyone in to liking her.

Absent: Marin Hinkle as Judith Harper

In an attempt to prove that he is a family man, Charlie invites his ex-girlfriend, Lisa (Denise Richards), over for Thanks-Giving dinner. He must also convince his family to join him as well, which also includes Judith and her parents. The atmosphere becomes awkward after Evelyn announces to Judith's parents that their daughter is gay; Judith becomes annoyed when her mother takes Alan's side over their divorce.

While at the movies, the brothers accidentally bump into Judith and her new boyfriend, which turns out to be Jake's soccer coach. Seeing that Judith has changed her look, and the fact that Jake doesn't think Alan is as cool as Judith, prompts Alan to realize that if he wants to get back into the dating scene, he's going to have to change his look as well; the new look earns him several compliments, but he gives up at the end, confessing Charlie that he is afraid of it.

When Berta is forced to bring her granddaughter, 16-year old Prudence (Megan Fox), to work with her, the boys find themselves a little preoccupied with her. Jake ends up falling for her. Judith almost catches her walking around in a bikini, but Charlie and Alan manage to hide her. Prudence later shows up with her new fiancee asking to spend the night at Charlie's before going to Las Vegas to get married, but Berta comes and stops her. Alan and Charlie then tell Jake to lie to Judith before she takes him home to Judith's.

Absent: Holland Taylor as Evelyn Harper

Charlie finally gets a chance for a double date with a hot neighbour and her sister (who's a hot soap opera actress), and needs Alan to come along. The problem is that Alan gets sick from Jake, so Charlie takes them to a steam room to help Alan get rid of his flu symptoms. This backfires, as Charlie also gets sick, but he has no intentions of canceling the date, desperate to go to bed with her.

After Charlie's credit card gets declined, Charlie decided to visit his accountant. Charlie's accountant Stan (Richard Lewis) tries to explain Charlie's financial woes to him: Charlie spends faster than his royalty checks come in. Alan then coaches Charlie on how to live frugally. Alan then suggests that Charlie could borrow money off their mother, but Charlie gets annoyed when Evelyn asks to take them out for lunch, and refuses. Rose eventually gives Charlie the cheque, lying that it is from her father (as she is acually very wealthy, unknown to him).

First appearance of: Ted the Pizza Guy, was renamed Gordon in later appearances

Against Alan's judgement, Charlie falls for a seemingly crazy woman named Frankie (Jenna Elfman) who the brothers find smashing up a BMW in a parking lot with a baseball bat. She reveals that she has nowhere to stay, and Charlie invites her to spend the night at his place. The next day, Frankie says she needs to pick something up, which turns out to be her 8-year-old daughter.

Absent: Holland Taylor as Evelyn Harper

Frankie tells Charlie and Alan why she and her daughter are on the run, and Frankie's daughter has a crush on Jake, who doesn't respond to this. Frankie and Alan end up sharing a kiss, and Alan takes her and her daughter out for a picnic, with hopes of starting a relationship with Frankie; Frankie eventually says that she cannot date Alan, even though she does spend the night with him. As she leaves for San Francisco, she gives him her bra as a memory of her.

Absent: Melanie Lynskey as Rose and Holland Taylor as Evelyn Harper

Alan offends Charlie by choosing their cousins from Rhode Island as Jake's guardians in the event of his and Judith's death. After Alan goes out, Charlie accidentally injures Jake during a basketball game- but manages to take good care of him by driving him to the hospital and getting him sorted. This makes Alan realize that Charlie can take good care of Jake and he chooses Charlie to be Jake's guardian when he and Judith pass instead.

Absent: Melanie Lynskey as Rose

Charlie goes to meet his ex-girlfriend, Jill, who invited him to the bar, but he is stunned when he learns that Jill is now a transman (Chris O'Donnell) who calls himself/herself Bill. Berta takes great enjoyment out of the situation, especially when it turns out that Evelyn meets Bill and starts dating him.

Absent: Marin Hinkle as Judith Harper and Melanie Lynskey as Rose

Judith's sister Liz (Teri Hatcher), who Charlie slept with at Alan's wedding, hits on now-free Alan at Jake's birthday party. In order to keep her sister separate from his ex-husband, Judith does so by claiming she's going to do Charlie, which works successfully. Elsewhere, Evelyn prefers alcohol to cake and gets instantly inebriated during Jake's party.

Judith believes that Jake is having a hard time dealing with his parents' divorce, after he starts annoying everyone with his non-stop guitar playing (as he only plays one song over and over). So she suggests that they send Jake to a therapist (Jane Lynch). After many futile attempts to speak with him, Jake comes downstairs with a cheerful mood. When the adults question each other about it, Berty reveals that she spoke to Jake and gave him prune juice; as he was constipated. The episode with a jam session of Charlie, Alan, and Jake; with Jake running off to the restroom thanks to the prune juice.

First Appearance of: Dr Linda Freeman Absent: Melanie Lynskey as Rose

Charlie jeopardizes Alan's divorce settlement by sleeping with his attorney, Laura (Heather Locklear), who takes a liking to Charlie and blackmails him with Alan's settlement if he breaks up with her. After stupidly breaking up with her, Charlie finds himself being chased by Alan around his house.

Absent: Melanie Lynskey as Rose and Holland Taylor as Evelyn Harper

Charlie attempts to cure Alan of his recent bout of sleepwalking; Jake sees his therapist, who ends up treating Alan, too.

Absent: Marin Hinkle as Judith Harper

Judith has her support group over, and Jake repeats Charlie's negative comments about women, in which Charlie said that as long as you have a women for sexual pleasure and another for cleaning, there should be no reason to get married. Furious, Judith prevents Jake from going to Charlie's the following weekend, until Charlie manages to woo her support group and having them, too, spend some time at his house.

A woman with whom Charlie has had sex thinks she is pregnant, but turns out not to be. Following this close call, Charlie attempts to get a vasectomy. At first, he seems okay with the idea after witnessing how troublesome babies can be, but after seeing how happy his doctor, Dr. Sperlock (Terry Rhoads), is after he learns he is going to be a father, Charlie decides against the operation – and scores a date with the doctor's assistant.

Absent: Marin Hinkle as Judith Harper