The Very Best of The Muppet Show: Volume 3 - Recurring Skits

Recurring Skits

• A Poem by Rowlf - Rowlf the Dog would recite a classic poem while other Muppets end up interrupting him. Only appeared in the first season.

• An Editorial by Sam the Eagle - Sam the Eagle gives an editorial on a specific topic which ends up occurring during the editorial. Only appeared in the second season.

• At the Dance – The sketch was a regular during the first season, but was used less frequently from the second season onward. Muppet characters (some of them being Whatnots) circulated on a semi-formal dance floor offering rapid fire one-liner jokes and come-backs as the couples passed in front of the camera. Debuted in The Muppet Show: Sex and Violence, and played a large role in the plot for a season five episode.

• Bear on Patrol – Fozzie Bear is an unlucky police officer and Link Hogthrob is his incompetent superior who always get into the silliest situations with the criminals brought in. The voice of the announcer was performed by Jerry Nelson. Debuted in the third season.

• Blackouts - A bunch of short, comic sketches traditional to vaudeville that end with the lights turning off or a quick closing of the curtain. Only appeared in the first season.

• Cold Openings - The Cold Openings would appear at the beginning of each episode, and would officially introduce the guest star. During the first season, Kermit would introduce the guest star during the opening theme. His introduction would be followed by a clip of the guest star, usually surrounded by a group of Muppets. Beginning the second season, the Cold Openings would appear before the opening theme song. Scooter would visit the guest star in his/her dressing room, usually saying "Fifteen seconds to curtain". This would then be followed by a brief joke. In the fifth season, the guest star would enter the theater and would be greeted by Pops the Doorman. Pops would always say "Who are you?" as soon as he saw the guest star. After the guest star introduced himself/herself to Pops, a joke would follow.

• Fozzie Bear's Act – Fozzie Bear gets on stage and performs his famously bad jokes. Statler and Waldorf heckle him, in a perpetual rivalry. The sketches became less frequent as Fozzie's off-stage presence became more prevalent. In one first season episode however, Fozzie turned the tables on Statler and Waldorf with help from Bruce Forsyth and they waved the white flag in surrender. Mainly appeared during the first season, but made occasional appearances in later seasons.

• Gonzo's Stunts - These sketches detail the stunts of Gonzo the Great.

• Muppet Labs – Segments featuring the latest invention from Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, with his assistant, Beaker, getting the worst of its inevitable malfunction. The character of Beaker was introduced in season two. During the first season Bunsen hosted Muppet Labs by himself, but the writers soon realized that another character was necessary to show Bunsen's failings.

• Muppet Melodrama - A sketch where Uncle Deadly would capture Miss Piggy and put her in perilous plights in order to force her to marry him. Wayne would often have to be the one save her. Only appeared in the third season.

• Muppet News Flash – The Muppet Newsman gives a news brief only to have some disaster befall him (typically the same disaster he was just describing), or another strange scenario (such as the time that he ran on stated "There is no news tonight" and ran off). In the first season, the Muppet Newsman read out news items that occasionally featured the guest star for that week playing a character that was somehow involved in the item. Muppet News Flashes often used absurdist humour. In one sketch, the Muppet Newsman stated that the Atlantic Ocean had been kidnapped. Another example is this statement: "Reports are coming in from all over the world that Television News Reporters are blowing up. These unlikely rumors are... KA-BOOM!" A third example (a cross-over with the Swedish Chef's sketch) has the Swedish Chef open and cause a wine bottle "explosion" (if a bottle is shaken too much before opening it for the first time, fizz will shoot up and out of the bottle) and flies through the air, classified as a UFO by the Muppet Newsman. As the scene goes, he was reported directly above the Muppet News Room and he landed on and crushed the Muppet Newsman.

• Muppet Sports - A sports sketch that features different sporting activities that are covered by Louis Kazagger. Debuted in the third season.

• Musical Chickens - A bunch of chickens would peck the piano keys and play a classic song in order to show of their musical talents.

• Panel Discussions - A sketch where Kermit the Frog, the featured guest star, and other Muppets discuss various topics. Only appeared in the first season.

• Pigs in Space – Parody of science fiction programmes like Star Trek, but also 1930s sci-fi serials. The spacecraft is called USS Swinetrek and the title voice-over is a parody of Lost in Space. It features Captain Link Hogthrob, Miss Piggy as first mate, and Dr. Julius Strangepork (the name a take-off on "Dr. Strangelove"). Usually, the sketches would involve the long-suffering Piggy putting up with the wacko Strangepork and the brain dead Link treating her as an inferior because she is a woman. The early sketches also usually featured odd introductions for all the characters, such as calling Link the flappable captain, Miss Piggy the flirtatious first mate, and referring to Dr. Strangepork as "describable." Dr. Strangepork usually got the most unusual description out of the three during these introductions as he was the oddest member of the group. This portion of the introduction was dropped during season three, and the announcer would simply claim it was "time for...Piiiiiigs...iiiin...spaaaaaaace!" Debuted in the second season.

• Planet Koozebane - A sketch about a planet containing strange alien lifeforms like the Koozebanian creatures, the Koozebanian Phoob, the Fazoobs, the Koozebanian Spooble, and the Merdlidops. This was a common stop for the Swinetrek crew. The planet would also be featured later on Muppet Babies, the "Space Cowboys" episode of Jim Henson's Little Muppet Monsters, and CityKids (which featured different Koozebanian aliens). Kermit the Frog would later report from Koozebane on a 1992 Good Morning America appearance. Planet Koozebane was also referenced in the "Science Fiction" episode of The Jim Henson Hour, and in the video game Muppets Party Cruise.

• Rowlf at the Piano - Rowlf the Dog would sing classical songs and would be occasionally accompanied by the other Muppet characters.

• Talk Spots - While sitting on a wall, Kermit the Frog would talk to the guest star and would occasionally be joined by the other Muppets. Mostly appeared during the first season, but made occasional appearances during the second season, and made two rare appearances in the third season (one of which featured Sam the Eagle and the Swedish Chef in place of Kermit).

• Talking Houses - A bunch of houses that tell jokes to each other. Only appeared during the first season.

• The Electric Mayhem - A bunch of musical sketches featuring Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem.

• The Swedish Chef – A cooking show parody. It consists of the Swedish Chef, who speaks mock Swedish, semi-comprehensible gibberish which parodies the characteristic vowel sounds and intonation of Swedish. He attempts to cook a dish with great enthusiasm, until the punch line hits. A hallmark of these sketches was the improvisation between Jim Henson (who performed the Chef's head and voice) and Frank Oz (who was his hands). One would often make something up on the spot, making the other puppeteer comply with the action. Famous gags include "chickie in du baskie" ("two points!"), Swedish meatballs that bounce, and repeatedly adding pepper to a recipe. The Swedish Chef was frequently seen chasing a fraught-looking chicken around the set whilst stating 'Yur puurt der chir-ken in der bewl' or words to this effect. Debuted in the pilot Sex and Violence.

• UK Spots - Due to shorter commercial breaks in the United Kingdom, every episode of The Muppet Show lasted two minutes longer in the UK than in the United States. The extra segments that were filmed to cover this time differential have been referred to as "UK Spots." Most of these UK Spots consisted of a short song.

• Vendaface - The Vendaface (voiced by Jerry Nelson) is a vending machine that can give any Muppet a facelift. The Vendaface was apparently only meant to be used once, but David Lazer said that they shouldn't build such an expensive puppet only to use him once. The writers then decided to have him on the show a few more times in the first season. The Vendaface later appeared in Episode 66 as the Vendawish (voiced by Jerry Nelson) which was a wish-granting machine.

• Veterinarian's Hospital – Parody of the soap opera General Hospital and other medical dramas, consisting of Dr. Bob (played by Rowlf the Dog) cracking corny jokes in the operating room with Nurses Piggy and Janice, much to the bemusement of the hapless patient. Each instalment ends with Dr. Bob and his nurses looking around in puzzlement as a disembodied narrator tells viewers to "tune in next time, when you'll hear Nurse Piggy / Dr Bob / Nurse Janice say....", whereupon one of the three 'medics' will prompt a corny response from one of the others. On a number of occasions, the "Veterinarian's Hospital" sketch would crossover with the cast or set of another, such as "At the Dance" or "Pigs in Space." On one occasion, Dr. Bob was the patient while the guest star (Christopher Reeve) played a doctor going to operate on Dr. Bob. In the first season the narrator was usually voiced by John Lovelady, but Jerry Nelson performed the role in both the Harvey Korman and Rita Moreno episodes, before taking over the role permanently from the Phyllis Diller episode. In the introduction, Dr. Bob went from "a former orthopedic surgeon" to "a quack" who's "gone to the dogs."

• Wayne and Wanda - Each sketch would feature Wayne and Wanda singing a song, only to be interrupted by some sort of pun relating to a lyric. Sam the Eagle introduced these sketches, as he felt that they were among the few cultured aspects of the show. Only appeared during the first season, however a few new sketches appeared in later seasons (with just Wayne).